Final fantasy X sort of comedy story
by the owner
Summary: The story from the regular game. Yuna pilgrimage has the guardian of a drunkard, 2 cheating blitzball player, a scolding blackmage, a cheery Al Bhed, and a drug taking Ronso. Will Yuna suceed in her pilgrimage? Read to find out. Chapter 16 is out.
1. Chapter 1

Final fantasy X sort of comedy story

Once upon a time there was a 17 year old guy named Tidus Blondeman. He's a blitz ball player on the team "the Zanarkand blitz" and the captain of it as well. It was the final seaon of blitz and everyone was gathering around the blitz ball arena.Everyone was cheering on the Zanarkand blitz team for some reason. Tidus was cheating as usual, using the invisible ball technique and the the techniques known as the nutcracker to knock out the guys.

However, outside the arena, the evil jellyfish sin was coming and everyone was yelling" the evil jellyfish is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "For christ sake run for life!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone was running except Auron. He went to find Tidus blondeman and tell him his story was going to begin. You all know no ones want to hear Tidus story anyway. He 's just a blonde who fell in love with Yuna and never went home. But anyway,on with the story.

Tidus ran away to find Auron and tell him something. After they found each other, Tidus said" Auron where the hell were you, you missed the show?"

" I never wanted and never will for reaons" ,said Auron

"What's the reaons?" asked Tidus

" You see, sin has come to this world and he has come to destory it. We will need to loot some money first and then leave this place. Which place do you think has the most amount of money?" said Auron

"Maybe we could check the mayor house?" said Tidus

"good idea"

So they went to the mayor house and looked everywhere. After they finished looting everything, they went to fight sin.

"So we managed to loot 2 million gil and some women's bra" said Auron

" This could explain why many hot chicks lost their virginity" replied Tidus

" Well we got find sin and kill it i guess"

"Yoh we're not going to kill sin, we're going to use a time machine made of Sin's tentacle to travel 1000 years into the future" replied Auron

"But how does this time machine work?" asked Tidus

" Well, we have to go under sin first, then we go to hope it work" replied Auron

" And what if it doesn't?"

" Then it would be a good thing as well, because your story will never happen, and people won't have to read this story and they can save precious minutes of their life"

" Okay then it's going to work?"

"you bet"

So they got near Sin and under his tentacle, but they had to fight some pimple part from sin. Then when they got under SIn, Auron said" it begins now, your story Tidus"

And the next thing Tidus knew, he was on a rock in some ruins that the player will not know until later on in the game and i do not want to spoil it for you if you did not play the game. He swam into a place and then found a big caged monster. The caged monster tried to suck Tidus in. Tidus tried to slash it with his sword, but thank to the monster big ugly face, Tidus paused for a second before attacking. Tidus swam to a little cave for safety.

"Damn Auron, leaving me hear to be cold and die. I'm starving man, wish there was some cold beer here."

But when Tidus looked to his right, he saw a miracle.

"CRUMBS!!!" Sqealed Tidus

He savagely went to eat the crumbs without manners. Stuffing them all to his mouth, He laughed like a moron.

"Better go find some flints and oil" said Tidus.

After Tidus found some flints, he started a fire.

"Fire!!!!!!! woo woo" yelled Tidus

But then the fire just suddenly died out.

"WTF I had fire a second ago. Come on the damn fire."

He rubbed the flint as hard as he could together. But no matter what, he couldn't make some fire.

Then suddenly, some people in suits came in and started helping Tidus.

"BOOOGA" yelled one of them

They threw grenades and the grenades made a huge fire.

"Wow, fire thanks guy" said Tidus

But the people then decided to kidnap Tidus and took them to their ship.

"We are cannibals from woogily boogily, we like eating people that are not al bheds becasue they are fresh" said the man

But then a hot chick came out and said" You guys shouldn't eat him, i want him. He could be my boyfriend. We can do it in my bedroom"

"Fine, but bring him to the kitchen if he gets boring."

"fine"

So the hot chick took Tidus to her bedroom, and once they were there---

"thank for saving me" said Tidus

" no problem, hey my name is Rikku, what's yours?" asked Rikku

"My name is Rikku, look are we going to do it or not?"

"Okay"

So they both took off their clothe and started doing it. But then the man came in the room and said" come on Rikku we're abandoning--- OMGWTF are you doing with that guy?"

"hey we're just having fun" said Rikku

"well have fun later and put on your clothe, we're abandoning ship. We are being attack by sin" said that man

"What?" said Tidus

So they went outside to see sin attack with his big tentacle thingy.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH abandon ship" yelled Tidus

"that's what we're about to do, dumbutt" said the man

So they jumped off the ship, but then sin use a laser beam to transport him to a place.

"Where am I?" wondered Tidus

But then suddenly, a blitzball came and decided to chomp him to million of pieces

"heads up" yelled a haired guy

So Tidus kicked the blitzball all the way to mountain. Then he went to talk to those guy.

"WTF you did that for, you ruined our festival and our last blitzball" said Wakka

"Well sorry, and anyway, what's the festival for?" said Tidus

" This is blitzball day, where we play blitzball all day and all night. I think you're hungry, I'll get you some food from the village."

"Interesting, what's the food?"

"Every little bit of human body part."

"WTF, you guys are cannibal?"

"yup, it's a tradition actually to get rid of bad people. Those who are bad and wasteful gets turned into a candy bar and when we eat them, we steal their strength and wastefullness, and then we eventually become a candy bar."

"You guys are crazy, why would you guys want to become a candy bar?"

"We have to or else sin might come back and destroy us. Anyway, my name is Wakka and I'm from the Bikanel blitz. Where are you from?"

"My name is Tidus and i'm from the Zanarkand abes."

" Huh, yeah right

" Yeah really i'm from the Zanarkand abes because----

" I really think you should eat something because you're not thinking clearly nuthead."

So they went to the road to the village.

" This is a pond of pirhanas, said Wakka. We throw unwanted human parts into this pond."

" So anyway, let's continue walking" said Tidus

" Now hold it, we're going to swim through here"

" Now you're just being stupid, why would anyone want to swim thorugh a pool of pirhana?"

" We have to, because the more body part you lose here, the less chance sin will come back"

So they swam through the pond to get to the village.

" This is the village" said Wakka

" It's full of tents and old people" said Tidus

"Because young people don't last very long, they are naughty, and you know what I mean by naughty."

Tidus shrugged.

"And that's our temple, it's the temple where you summon the aeon Valefor."

"What's an Aeon?" asked Tidus

"Well it's kinda hard to explain it, but basically an Aeon is a monster that's is summoned by a summoner"

"What's a summoner?"

" Okay, let's get you some candy bar, you are definitely not thinking clearly."

So after the got the candy bar, Wakka explained what a summoner was.

" Okay, a summoner is a person that's summon Aeon. The person goes from temple to temple, begging for the Aeon to lend their strength. Then after hours and hours of begging, the Aeon will finally agree to lend a hand."

"Well then how do you summon an Aeon?"

" The summoner begs of course, then the Aeon will come. Usually it happens very fast, depending on the Aeon stubbornness. It take some time though for the Aeon to come, and so opponoments can usually attack you before you summon"

" So how does the summoner defend themselves?"

" Well duh, there's guardians to protect the summoner"

" I see, can I be a guardian?"

" Well, we got to ask the summoner cause the summoner chooses who to become a guardian. We better go check."

So they went to the temple.

" This temple is the worse temple ever. the backround music sucks as well." said Tidus

" Hey, stfu, it's a holy place" said Wakka

Then a priest came toward them and said" the summoner has not come out for days, why don't you go check inside, guardian Wakka."

" No I'll go" said Tidus

" Only sworn guardian can enter" said the priest"

" screw the rules man, rules were meant to be broken" and he bust open the door.

" This is pretty nice" Tidus said once he got in

So Tidus solved the temple place and was about to go inside the chamber when suddenly Wakka appeared and said" you got a lot of guts to disobey the rules. Ah well you made it this far, no point in going back"

So they took the elevatorto the basement floor.

" Why couldn't the summoner take the elevator down to the basement instead of going through all this mess?" asked Tidus once they were down in the basement.

"Because that's called cheating and cheating is against the law here and if you cheat here, you get turned into candy bar." said Wakka

" But i thought you guys liked to be turned into candy bars."

" Shut up!"

Then an emo witch called out saying " what are you guys doing here? Wakka i thought i told you stay outside and why did you bring this guy here?"

" Relax Lulu, this guy just have a lot guts okay" said Wakka

" Oh really, maybe we should turn this guy into a candy bar." said Lulu

" hey, I'm too young to die" cried out Tidus

" No you're not, you're the perfect age. A lot of people do dirty stuff at your age." said Lulu

" Hey, easy with the kid Lulu, he just came here okay, no being mean."

Then suddenly, a hot chick came out of a door.

"Wow, that chick is hot, I think I'm in love." tought Tidus

" I did it, I'm a summoner."


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2

So the party went outside for the hot chick to summon Valefor.

She did the weird dance that all summoner have to do in order to summon an Aeon.

And out came a big birdie with big wings. The chick went to touch the Valefor face.

" She's perfect for me, heh heh heh." thought Tidus

That night, Tidus went to talk to the hot chick.

" Stay away from the summoner." said an old women

" You're a bad man" said a little whining child

But Yuna calmly said" let him speak, i shall hear if he's bad or not bad"

So Tidus said" hey um, what's your name?"

" My name is Yuna brownhair, what's yours?"

" My name is Tidus blondeman and I'm from the zanarkand abes."

" I see, did Wakka just give you the insane candy bar or was there out of mind-refreshing candy bar?"

" No, I'm really from there."

"Okay, okay, I really don't like the candy bars anyway"

" Yeah, me neither, they taste like they just came out of a butt from someone who had diarhea"

" Hey, we're going on the same ship tomorrow so we can talk more of where you came from, alright?"

"Alright!"

And so Tidus went to talk to the Bikanel blitz team.

" We are the Bikanel blitz team and we are a kick ass team." said Wakka to the other team member.

" yeah" yelled the crowd.

" And we will cheat like none other team"

" yeah"

" wait a second, how come you guys are named Bikanel blitz when you're not even from Bikanel?" asked Tidus

" Well, you see" said Wakka

Flashback scene:

" Yeah, we defeated the Bikanel blitz and now they owe us their name" yelled Wakka to the crowd.

The crowd went wild

" From now on, we are called the Bikanel blitz and they are called the Besaid Auroch, the worst team name ever in history."

The crowd went even more wild.

" And so,we took their name from then on and on." said Wakka

" Well I best going to bed. I'm like, really tired" said Tidus

" Remember to wake up early tomorrow."

And he went to bed without another word.

That night, he had a dream.

" Remember to take me to zanarkand, Tidus." said Yuna

" Hey, I thought you were taking me to zanarkand" said Rikku

" I never said that to either of you" said Tidus

" Well can you still take us there?" asked both of them

" NO!!!"

" Hey, you lost your virginity to me " said Rikku

" Well he'll like me better cause I'm a virgin"

" yoh ladies, he can't choose either of you because he's a little crybaby. ahhh cry cry cry little Tidus."

" I hate you dad." said Tidus

" What?" said Jecht

" I HATE YOU DAD! yelled Tidus

Then Tidus woke up and heard Wakka talking to Lulu outside.

" Yes, he does look like chappu, which makes you want to hug him so tight until he dies, right?" said Lulu

" Well, when he wake up next morning, I'm going to hug him so tight that I'll crack his back." said Wakka

" oh shit, I better get ready to get a lot of pain tomorrow morning" thought Tidus

And so the next morning when Tidus finally woke up, Wakka came and gave him a big hug like the one Barney give to all his pathetic friends.

"Wassup Tidus, had a good night sleep?" said Wakka

Trapped under Wakka arm, he said" Yes, and stop squeezing me so tight."

" Oh sorry about that. Anyway, we gotta get going , we're going to be late."

" What! what time is it?"

" 2:00 am on the dot"

" OMG you have to go that early?"

" Yup, you see, tonight we were all on drugs to keep ourselves awake"

" alright i'm up"

So they all gathered at a nose stone area.

" This is our nose stone. People pray here for a safe trip, just in case they get ambushed by bandits. Let's pray here for a safe journey."

So they all got to their knees and began to pray.

" K, now let's get going." said Wakka

So Tidus, Wakka, Yuna, kimahri, and Lulu all went to the shipyard.

But then, a big bird flew toward them.

"Hey Wakka, use your blitzball to attack it." said Tidus

" no way, it's too powerful. We must use Valefor." said Wakka

So Yuna did that weird dance again, and the guardian had to risk their life to protect Yuna.

And then Yuna finally summoned Valefor.

"Alright, Valefor" said Tidus

But then, Valefor puked.

"What's happening?" asked Tidus

" It must have Quarantine" said Lulu

So they had to summon away valefor and risk their lives just to kill the big bird.

" Ah finally, we spent hours just to make it go away." said Wakka

Yuna was a summoner of course, so she couldn't attack them and had to stay back and watch her guardians attack.

The guardians had cuts and scars all over themselves.

So they finally managed to get to the shipyard,

"Okay, so we have to go to Kilika to get the next aeon." said Wakka

" What's the next Aeon?" asked Tidus

" Ifrit, god of the fire." said Wakka enthusiasticlly

" Wow, that Aeon sound pretty powerful." said Tidus

" Well it isn't, now let's get moving."

And so they were on their way to Kilika.

On their way there however, they were ambushed by a big scary fin.

"Sin!" They all yelled and started attacking.

Wakka and lulu used their range attack to kill the fin while kimarhi and Tidus attacking the small sinspawn.

Yuna of course, sat back and watch while her guardians attack.

After the fight was over, Yuna leeched the experience

Then the whole thing crashed into a village.

"Hang on to something, anything!" yelled Tidus

The ship crashed and everyone got hurt.

"Ouch, that hurt." said Tidus

" Yuna, use the sending dance to send all the dead people to heaven." said Lulu

" Right" said Yuna

So Yuna did some weird dance to Tidus and then suddenly, little yellow fireflies flew around and then Yuna got raised up into the air by water.

" This is the dance of the summoner, it happens when summoners sends dead people to heaven" said Lulu to Tidus

" How does she send them away?" asked Tidus

" Why, by the same way a summoner summons an aeon. She begs, of course, for the spirit to go to heaven in her mind by convincing them that heaven is a good place to go instead of staying here, watching people come and go. Mostly they all agree immediately if the summoner is young, hot girl like Yuna."

" And what if the summoner was a man?"

" Well then, sometime it's faster if most of the dead souls are hot chicks."

And finally, the dance was over.

" Okay now we shall take a rest in Kilika." said Wakka

Then the next day at Kilika forest , Yuna asked Tidus to become her guardian.

" What, you can't be serious" said Wakka

" He's a freshmen at the job anyway." said Lulu

" Well then, I want him around then." said Yuna

" Okay, okay we keep him around, but if he bullsed things up, he get turned into a candy bar and kimarhi gets to eat it." said Wakka

But then, somebody called out" Yoh, summoner and guardians. There is a creepy ocho blocking the way and us crusadors can't seem to kill it."

" Then you guys suck. I hope you guys get fired." said Lulu

" Okay." said the crusador looking down on the ground.

" Well, let's go and kill the ocho." said Tidus

" Now hold it, why don't we let the crusadors deal with it." said Lulu

" Good idea." said Tidus

" Hey you, go get your full team to kill the ocho." said Lulu

" Right." and he did some stupid salute sign.

So he called an arm legion of about 100 men to kill that Ocho. After around 2 hours, the crusadors managed to weakened the Ocho, but didn't kill them.

" Wow, they really do suck" said Lulu

" let's kill it" said Wakka

And with one strike of a blitzball, they managed to kill the ocho.

So they all went to the woods and stairs of Kilika until they found a strange creature.

" Sinspawn!" They all yelled and they all started to attack it.

The sinspawn used its tentacle to whiplash them all, but thanks to Wakka blitzball that just knock it in the head, it lost it's concious for a while.

" Get it" yelled Tidus

So they all used their overdrive to kill it.

And on they went to the temple


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Finally, they went to Kilika temple, but at there...

" What the hell are you doing here?" asked an ugly jerk

" We are here to get the Aeon Ifrit" said Wakka

" Hey i know you, you're the captain of the bikanel blitz. Or should i say, Besaid Auroch. You took the Al bheds name, man. You don't deserve to play blitzball." said that ugly jerk

" Well in the game, we're going to kick your ass 50-0. Might be 100-0 if you guys really suck." said Tidus

" Enough boasting. We shall see when we play the game." said the ugly jerk

And he walked away.

" What's with that creep?" asked Tidus

" Well, they're from the luca goers. They were on the championship once for three years. We kick their ass 10-3 by cheating and toughing us up by taking steroid."

" That's not good enough, we need to kick their ass 50-0 by more cheating and more steroid." said Tidus

" Well, we need some gils cause steroid cost a lot of money these day to convince people to use them less." said Wakka

" That sucks" said Tidus

" Oi, quit talking to each other. Time to go to the temple." called Lulu

" Kimahri likes drugs" said Kimahri

" Wow, first hearing you talking Kimahri" said Lulu

" Kimahri needs drugs to talk or else Kimahri dies" said Kimahri

" Okay..." said Lulu

And so they were at the temple, but at the temple...

" Greeting summoner Yuna, I'm Dona and here's my guardian, Gilligan." said Dona

" Hey, I have a real name name" said Giliagan

" Shut up, Giligan" said Dona

" It's nice to meet you Dona." said Yuna

" Wow, you have a number of Guardians, how can they all be powerful if you have this much? I remembered Lord Braska only had 2 guardians.

" For your information, we each wear an experience hat to share experience and i thinks it's fun to have this much guardian because we can have a celebration party at the end. ( Warning spoilers)

" Fine with me, we already got the Aeon, so have fun." said Dona

" What's with that bitch?" asked Tidus to Yuna

" She must be jealous, cause I'm going to get the final Aeon first. And when I do, I'll not only kill Sin, I'll kill her as well" ( Warning Spoilers)

" Okay" said Tidus

And so they were going inside the temple, but then Kimahri pushed Tidus out of the elevator.

" WTF was that for Kimahri" said Tidus

" Kimahri thinks Tidus too dumb to be able to go through the cloister of trials." said Kimahri

" Wait for us outside, okay" said Yuna

" Fine" said Tidus

And so they went down the elevator without Tidus

" I'll show them I'm smart enough. Yes, I will show them that I'm a genius" muttered Tidus to himself

But then Dona came

" Hey, I thought you were going in?" said Dona

" I wish I could, but Kimahri pushed me out because I'm not smart enough" said Tidus

" Not smart enough eh? said Dona, well then, Giligan"

And Giligan picked Tidus and dropped him on the elevator.

" We shall see if you survive or not." said Dona as she pressed the elevator button.

" Yuna really should kill that bitch cause she's starting to piss me of real bad" muttered Tidus to himself

And so he went through the cloister of Trial by himself and at the basement...

" Hey, how the hell you got in here?" asked Wakka

" Don't ask me, that bitch Dona and her guardian Giligan or whatever his name is pushed me into the elevator" said Tidus

" Kimahri guess Tidus is really dumb" said Kimahri

" Hey, shut up." said Tidus

Then Yuna came out of the temple basement floor and said" BOOOOOOOOOOOOGA I got another Aeon." ( summoners say BOOOOOOOOOOOOGA when they get another Aeon after their first one)

" That's nice Yuna, now come on, we got a lot of work to do." said Lulu

" Hey, why don't you let me have some fun?" said Yuna

" Stop wasting time and let's get moving!" yelled Lulu

So they got out of the temple and then got on a ship to Luca.

At Luca, Yuna said" since Sin is here every couple of months or so, this place is pretty barren. It's only crowded when a blitzball tournament is coming up. Today is a blitzball tournament day so it's very crowded."

" Alright team, we better kick some asses real bad. No I mean, real bad." said Wakka

" Yeah!" yelled the team

And so they were then in a room to discuss how they were going to cheat.

" Okay, instead of using steroid now, we shall use cocaine. They will do for us until we get some steroid." said Wakka

So he went around the team injecting cocaine in them. But when he came to Tidus...

" Tidus why don't you take some cocaine?" asked Wakka

" I only take steroid Wakka, cocaine make you sick." said Tidus

" Okay, but good luck"

" Kimahri like to take some cocaine as well" said Kimahri

" Okay Kimahri. Here you go" said Wakka as he injected Kimahri with some cocaine

" Kimahri thanks Wakka" said Kimahri

" Hey, it's no big deal" said Wakka

And then Lulu came in and said" Yuna is gone, we must go after her."

" I'll go" said Tidus

" No, I shall go alone myself. You need to play the blitzball game." said Lulu

" Hey look, Yuna is going to be my future wife okay. It's only right that I go " said Tidus

" Okay, but don't count too much on being the Wife of Yuna" said Lulu

" Don't worry, I'll handle the defense the game" said Wakka

So they went to find the Al Bheds and on the way there, they killed a lot machinas

" Machinas are bad weapons that deserves to die. This is the reason why we hate the Al Bheds a lot." said Lulu

" Kimahri sorta like the Al Bheds because they can make a lot of drugs." said Kimahri

" Ewww, what's that smell?" asked Tidus

" Kimahri just smoked some weed and got DRUGSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" said Kimahri

" Okay..." said Tidus

And then they saw the Al Bheds ship

" Chooba Wooba Wachrooba bag fooba frooba choco lala do vego" said an Al Bhed guy. Translation: We took your precious summoner and hid her away in our fun sanctum and you know what we mean by fun.

" Damn them and kill them all" said Tidus

" DRUGSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" Yelled Kimahri

And so they attacked the Al Bheds head on. Lulu used fire to fire the Al Bheds to death. Tidus slashed them all pieces. Kimahri used Drugs power and killed them by taking a couple dose of steroid and then pumped up his strength to smeer them all to pieces.

But then the Al Bheds summoned a machine that tried to ripped them all to pieces. But then it suddenly broke down

"WLG uh lye joggaho" asked the Al Bhed guy. Translation: WTF is the problem?

" go lot'c cree goooga hoog my fooba" replied another guy. Tranlation: We tried telling you that the engine broke down.

" fo, jabb, gett" said the Al Bhed guy. Translation: oh, well, f

And the ship exploded after Tidus, Lulu, and Kimahri got Yuna out.

After they got out of there, Yuna said" I didn't know Al Bheds had red dicks the size of donkeys"

" Whatever, I just hope they weren't the one to ruin your virginity." said Lulu

" Nah they weren't. They were about to until the ship suddenly exploded" said Yuna

" Well good, because you wasted a lot of our time, now let's get moving" said Lulu

" Kimahri thinks Yuna is useless without guardians" said Kimahri

" Well then, what are you suggesting Kimahri?" asked Yuna

" Kimahri suggest Yuna take drugs to improve Yuna's strength" said Kimahri

Then after the Bikanel blitz defeated the Besaid Auroch( or should I say, the Besaid Auroch defeated the Bikanel blitz if you want to put it in their original name) 30-0, Wakka said" the Besaid Auroch really is the worst team ever, and they deserve to never play blitzball again. Well Besaid Auroch, get the f out of here, you don't deserve to play blitzball ever again."

Then the Besaid Auroch walked away and never touched a blitzball again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

So the next round was with the Bikanel blitz and the Luca goers.

The crowd was cheering wild as the two blitzball enter the stadium. It all came down to this. If the Bikanel blitz beated the Luca goers over 5 points, then the Luca goers is out of the game forever. If the Bikanel blitz lose( which I assure you, they won't), then they are out of game forever and they have to hand all the drugs they have to the Luca Goers.

They were all preparing for the game in the last-minute. Wakka injected the team with more drugs and they had to be reminded their cheating tactics.

Then a person with somewhat bighands came in saying " Greetings, My name is Maester seymour. I will be hosting the game with my friend Maester Jabba. We will honor the winner and boo the losers. If anyone wants some last-minute bets, please meet maester Kinoc at section 4. Now since there is no more to say. Let the game begin." And the crowd went wild.

The game was on. At the beginning, the Luca goers had the advantage. But then the Bikanel blitz cheated by using the nutcracker technique. Tidus used the nightcracker to get rid of the goalie and then he fired away into the goal.

The next time, Tidus used the invisible blitzball technique to hide the ball from the Luca Goers. Then he scored a goal.

Then the next goal is what I consider real cheating. Tidus used the hypnotizing technique that hypnotized the opponoment to attack themselves. Then he used the grand shot to hit a goal.

The next shot was easy as well. Wakka's team used some grenades and P90s to get rid of some of the opponoment's player. They then shot another goal.

It was then half-time and the Bikanel blitz were discussing about the final score.

" No more cheating, we shall finish the game in a fair-and-square way" said Wakka

" But team, we've never been able to score a point without cheating" said a team member

" Then I'm counting on you, Tidus" said Wakka

" Why me?" asked Tidus

" Cause you are able to shoot a shot we can never possibly shoot." said Wakka

" What's that then?"

" The jecht shot #3"

" You guys can't shoot the jecht shot #3?! It's like the easiest shot ever man."

" Easy to you, you've probably been practicing it for years."

" Yeah, I guess"

" So the rest of us will get rid of the other players by cheating while you shoot the jecht shot #3"

" Okay"

So they were back in the stadium with all their plans set out. However, the Luca Goers were more than prepared because they took a major amount of steroid that bulked them up real good. I'm like, holy crap they have power man. The Luca Goer were able to knock out a lot of players in a few moment and then they were headed for Tidus. But the team members didn't give up to defend Tidus from getting beaten the crap out of him. Tidus swam as fast as he could near the goal.

He was near the goal, almost next to it. He then prepared for the jecht shot #3, the shot said to never ever miss. He kicked it up to the air and then shoot it down so fast anyone can hardly see it. The goalie tried to stop it. But as it neared the goalie, it suddenly stopped dead. And it magically moved around the goalie and into the goal. WTF!! some of you might say. THAT FING CHEATING!!!! Yeah I wrote it like that for some sort of miracle.

" And the Bikanel Blitz win" said Maester Seymour

The crowd went wild.

" The Bikanel Blitz beated those sorry Luca Goers ass and wiped them out of blitzball history and before long, everyone will forget the blitzball team Luca Goers actually existed."

The crowd went even more wild

" So Luca Goers, get the hell out of our sight"

And the crowd booed to the Luca Goers and threw junks at them while they walked sadly out of the arena and out of history.

But then suddenly, fiends started to appear everywhere. There was like an army of them marching upon innocent people. The fiends started to attack people at random. Then Auron came and slashed a few down. Tidus saw Auron and said" Auron, is that you?"

Auron said" It IS me, are you that of a numbskull?"

" No, but why are you here?"

" What does it look like I'm doing?"

" Being a drunk?"

" NO you dumbass, I'm here to save you guys. Now come on, we're going to kill some fiends."

So they went around Luca killing fiends. They kept killing fiends until Seymour summoned a powerful Aeon. HIS MOM!!!! ROFLMFAO

Well, it's called Anima, and it killed any fiends with one shot.

"Maester Seymour's Aeon, so powerful." said Yuna

Then Seymour summoned it away.

" Fiends are abomination that deserves to be wiped out." said Seymour

Meanwhile...

"Hey Auron, do you know if my father is alive or not?" asked Tidus

" Depends on what you mean by alive." replied Auron

" Well , where is he?" asked Tidus

" Your father is Sin, Jecht is Sin"

Tidus couldn't believe what he heard. His father, Jecht, is Sin. It was ridiculous and impossible. But Auron said it firmly, and Tidus looked to the ground with some disbelieve inside of him.

" Hey, what's up" said Yuna

Tidus turned to look at Yuna. Yuna paused to look at Auron.

" Wow, Sir Auron, is that really you?" asked Yuna

" Why, of course it is, lady Yuna" said Auron

" Hey, why don't you say that to me next time when someone ask you who you are." said Tidus

" Well, she's a woman and I like hot Woman." said Auron

" Is that so?" sneered Tidus

So at the Luca road, Auron asked Yuna if he could become her guardian.

" Yay, I get Sir Auron as my guardian." cheered Yuna

" Puh-lease" said Tidus to himself

So they walked all the way through Luca roads until they were at a resting shop

" Hello, I'm an Al Bhed, but i could speak english thank to my machina. You may stay here for a price of 150k gil."

" F man that's a heck lot of money" said Tidus

" Well, we need the money for our machina." said The Al Bhed

" F this i'm going to sleep outside." said Tidus

" Okay, good luck out there tho." said The Al Bhed

The others, including Kimahri, paid 150k gil to stay.

In the middle of the night, Yuna had dream.

" You know, I feel closer to this guy than I have than anyone else. Perhaps we might have been meant for each other. I should go tell him that. No, he might lose his respect for me. I better wait. Hey, what's that noise?"

Yuna woke up and heard singing in the distance. It was around the day time. And when she went outside...

" And so we find ourselves in the same old mess, singing drunken lullabies." sang Tidus with a bottle of cold beer inside of it. Wakka and Auron was with him too.

" Wow Tidus, you would drink while you're still underage by 4 years ,hic." said Wakka

" Yup,hic, I have a lot of guts, hic. said Tidus

" NO, hic, you're being a real idiot, hic." said Auron

" Hey you three, stop drinking and get working." said Yuna

" Of what? hic" asked Tidus

" The CHOCOBO EATER FOR GOD SAKE" said a chocobo knight

" The wha? hic" said Wakka

" OMG we've been telling you that for nearly an hour, the chocobo eater nearly eaten half our chocobo forces already."

' hic. Okay we're on our way to stop it" said Auron

So they all got ready to go and kill the chocobo eater, but when they were near it, it pushed them off a cliff.

" hic, next time a chocobo knight tells me what to do, I'll kill that person." said Auron

So The guardians and Yuna had to take the long way to the end of the highway road, Then at the end the highroad, they were greeted by maester Seymour.

" Greeting guardians and summoners, we are making a plan to destory Sin forever." said Seymour

" How" asked Tidus

" Why, by using machinas. Machinas can destory anything as long as they are powerful." said Seymour.

" Yeah right, Yevon's teaching said that if we stop using machinas, Sin will magically disappear on it's own." said Wakka

" Greeting guardians and summoners, but I do not go by teachings. Instead, and since I'm a maester, I go by rules I made up" said Seymour

" Well, Good luck with the mission " said Tidus

" Why thank you." said Seymour

Then a crusadors came bringing news.

" We are using these captured Sinspawn to lure Sin here. Since we made up a theory that Sin comes to get it's sinspawn every time it's having a bathroom break."

" You crusadors can't do a thing. If you couldn't even kill an ocho with machinas, how are you to even be able to stand next to Sin?" said Lulu

" Well, that's why we got the Al Bhed on our side. They agreed to join our side as long as they get 1 million gil an hour. And we happily accepted their offer."

" I hate Al-Bheds because they go against Yevon's true teaching." said Wakka

" Well, we had to, because the Al Bheds has the best kind of machinas."

" Well, screw you" said Wakka

" Anyway, to get to the mission. You have to climb the mushroom rock. We will be taking an elevator to mushroom rock. "

" why can't we take the elevator as well? asked Tidus

" Because this one--he pointed at Wakka---doesn't like Machina. And the elevator is a machina."

And so that crusadors was gone on to the elevator while the guardians and Yuna were left to climb the mushroom.


	5. Chapter 5

Once at the top of the mushroom rock, another crusador started complaining

" This job is bullshit" said that crusador.

" You mean, the whole crusador thing is bullshit. Bullshit from the very start." said Lullu

" Then what should I do?" asked the crusador

" If I was Lulu, I'd say quit and get a life. If you were me, then I'd say do my job good and don't screw things up." said Auron

" Yes sir." said the crusador as he ran off.

" That was not a suggestion, that was a must." said Auron.

Then Maester Kinoc came and said" hello people, My name is Maester Kinoc"----but Tidus cut cross him and said " yeah we know who you are, just tell us why you're here.'

" My, what a very rude man you are. You must learn some manners. I will enroll you to manner school after your summoner has finished her pilgrimage and not choose you for her final Aeon( warning spoilers)." said Maester Kinoc

" fing queer" said Tidus

Maester Kinoc bitchslapped him" My, you have a lot of manner you need to learn, I will have to send you to some psychologist to deal with you. Anyway, Auron I'm here to tell you two things. #1: these people will not kill Sin. And #2: teach this guy some manners--pointing at Tidus."

" I will" said Auron

" Good" said Maester Kinoc as he walked off

" You're going to listen to that queer?" asked Tidus

" Now, now, no name calling" said Auron to Tidus as if he was a child

" Grrr" growled Tidus

A couple of minute later, the crusadors notice that the cage was moving.

" shouldn't we check what's in there?" said a crusador

" Nah, it's just full of sinspawn, and it always move around." said another

" But it's moving more than usually"

" shut the hell up and get to work."

But then the cage busted open and a giant Sinspawn came out.

" Sinspawn!!!" yelled Yuna and her guardians

" Get ready to kill it" said Tidus

" DRUGS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" yelled Kimahri

And so they started attacking.

The most annoying thing about the sinspawn was it's poison breath and arms. Wakka and Lulu were busy killing the head while Tidus and Auron were trying to attack it arms and body. Yuna,of course, sat back and relax while her guardians kill the Sinspawn.

After a long time with guardians have injuries all over them, they finally killed the Sinspawn.

But then, a big shadow crossed over them.

" SIN!!!!" they all yelled

" Get your machina ready" said the captain crusador

They all got their machina up.

"Aim!"

They got machina to position

" Fire!!"

But when they tried to fire, their machina broke down.

" What happened?!" asked the captain

" hooga, mala wreh cuck hoo jigger figg lud googpa" said an Al Bhed person( Translation: Um well, we didn't manage to make it properly)

" Do'h" said the captain

And a big flash came out.

And the next thing anyone at there knew---anyone that survived, that is---was that there was a huge mess all over the place.

Tidus racked his head and looked at the sea. He felt his father-Jecht- during that flash light yelling to him" you better come to me son or else I'll come and kill you and your girlfriend with my dingdong. Yes, that's what i will do heh heh heh"

Tidus looked around and some dead and not dead crusadors all over the place.

Tidus talked to one of them.

" I guess I was an idiot back then, defying the teachings of Yevon." said a familiar crusador

" You were an idiot from the start. The start of when you decided to join the whole crusador thing" thought Tidus and probably what Lulu thought if she was here.

Tidus then moved out to find Yuna, but he found Kimahri instead.

" Kimahri found Yuna first, Kimahri is better than Tidus thanks to drugs." said Kimahri

" For christ sake Kimahri, stop taking drugs" said Tidus

" Kimahri must take drugs or else Kimahri dies" said Kimahri

" Geezers..." said Tidus

Then Auron and Lulu came.

" Forgive us, we were lost." said Lulu

" don't you mean having sex?" said Auron

" hey stfu" said Lulu

" well, time to get out of here." said Tidus

So they were on another road to get the next Aeon.

" What's the next aeon, Wakka?" asked Tidus

" Ixion, god of lighting" said Wakka

" Wow, that sounds pretty powerful." said Tidus

" My god, can't you tell from weak to powerful. You see, Aeons are unreliable because they die easily and is weak. " said Wakka

" Then, why do people need to go to temple?" asked Tidus

" Well, by people you mean summoners, and because once a summoner chooses her path, she can't go back on it. The tough part of it is that she doesn't realize that an Aeon is unreliable. And that's the reason Yuna chooses this much guardian."

" I see."

" Well good, because we wasted a lot of time here just by talking."

So they were out of the road and all the way to Djose temple, but on there...

" Summoner Yuna and guardians, you can't pass this area because it is lightning infested" said chocobo knight

" F YOU" said Auron as he slash the chocobo knight into peices.

And so they were on to Djose temple.

" Wow, the chocobo knight was right. It is lightning infested" said Tidus

" You be quiet." said Auron

And when they were inside the temple...

" Hello, my name is Jigger, and these are my brother Wrigger and Figger." said Jigger

" Nice to meet you." said Yuna

" Hey, you look hot. Why don't we both give up our pilgriamge so we can do it together." said Jigger

" Hell no man, you may quit yourself, but I'm not doing anything with you." said Yuna

" Okay if that is your will." said Jigger

" Enough talk, we got to get the Aeon." said Lulu

" Right" said Yuna

They went inside the temple and went through the cloister of Trial. Once they were at the top floor, Yuna went into the temple and started begging for Ixion help.

After about an hour of begging, Tidus said " what's taking her so long?"

" The stronger the Aeon, the longer it takes to beg." said Wakka

" I thought you said this Aeon was a weak one." said Tidus

" Well, this one is a little bit stronger than the other okay." said Wakka

" Well then hurry up" said Tidus

After about 2 hours. Yuna came out and said " BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA I got another Aeon." and collasped

" What happened?" said Tidus

" She went into a coma." said Lulu

" When will she wake up?" asked Tidus

" Next morning" said Lulu

" UHHHH" moaned Tidus

So they took Yuna to the temple bed until next morning.

The next morning, Yuna woke up with crazy bed hair.

" Hey summoners can't have bed hair." said Lulu

" Kimahri thinks Yuna isn't fit to become a summoner and should give the job to someone who take drugs like me." said Kimahri

" Kimahri, would you stop taking drugs?" said Tidus

" Kimahri must take drugs or else Kimahri dies" said Kimahri

" So is this why your skin is blue?" asked Tidus

" Ronsos like taking drugs because Drugs gives them DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" said Kimahri

" Okay..." said Tidus

So they were out of there and on to mushroom roads.

At mushroom road, they met a woman.

" High summoner Braska's daughther. That's a big name to live up. My name is Belgemine and I'm a summoner. "

" Why are you talking to us anyway?" said Tidus

" I was talking to Yuna, not you so stfu" said Belgemine

" Women." muttered Tidus To himself

" Anyway, I'm here to aske 2 things. First thing is that I want to test out your strength as a summoner." said Belgemine

" No" said Yuna plainly.

" NO?" said Belgemine

" Because I know that Aeon's are unreliable and you would summon the Aeon that is the most reliable to me yet. Ixion" said Yuna

" Hey, Ixion isn't reliable okay." said Belgemine

" Okay then, let's fight." said Yuna

So Belgemine summoned Ixion while Yuna summoned Ifrit.

" Ifrit, attack!!" commanded Yuna

But then, Ifrit just puked and fell down.

" Ifrit, what the hell man?" said Yuna

" As I thought. Ixion, finish him off." said Belgemine

And Ixion used one blast and pow, Ifrit was dead.

" Why did you fight me if you knew you were going to win?" asked Yuna

" 2 reasons, it was fun and to prove that summoners are useless with their guardians. Well, I must be off." said Belgemine as she walked off.

" Biatch" said Yuna

And they continued the way of mushroom road.


	6. Chapter 6

At the end of mushroom road. They saw some fireflies.

" What are some fireflies doing here?" asked Tidus

" This place has guardians and summoners spirit. These summoner and guardians here are bad ones because they only made it this far." said Lulu

" Well, I kinda feel sorry for them." said Tidus

" Well you shouldn't, because those who feel sorry for summoners that sucks dies at a young age." said Lulu

Tidus shrugged. He wouldn't want to die at the age of 17. He hasn't even found a way home yet.

" Anyway, let's move on." said Lulu

And so they walked into some of sort traveling place.

" Ahhhh, reminds of my firs time here. Jecht and I was a a real drunk back then and we killed a shoopuf with banishing blade and the jecht shot. We had to pay all our money in order to say we're sorry." said Auron

" You were a drunk?" asked Tidus

" Well duh, what's this to my left?" said Auron, showing him a jug of brandy

" Okay, okay, I get it." said Tidus

" Ride the shoopuf?" asked a hypello

" Yes." said Tidus

So they rode the shoopuf, and at the middle...

" under the lake is a city of machina. During the machina war, people used machina to fight each other. Then the city fell into to the bottom of the lake. That's why using machina is bad." said Lulu

" Kimahri keeps looking at water just in case there is some drugs people threw away." said Kimahri

" I remember the time when I fell down in a lake and tried getting out of the lake." laughed Yuna

" Kimahri pushed Yuna into lake for Yuna to look for drugs, but Yuna couldn't swim so Kimahri had to save Yuna using DRUGSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" said Kimahri

" Yeah." said Yuna

But then, a big machina claw came out and grabbed Yuna.

" HELP!!" yelled Yuna

" Kill the machina!!!" yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" yelled Kimahri

And Kimahri jumped into the lake.  
" Kimahri needs help, drugs power fails him this time. Kimahri can't swim" said Kimahri

" save yourself, I'm saving Yuna." said TIdus as he jumped into the lake.

" Me too" said Wakka as he jumped into the lake,

So they swam to the machina.

The machina tried grabbing Tidus and Wakka at the same time, but they were too fast for it.

Wakka super shot it double fast with a blitzball. Tidus used the overdrive slice and dice to slice the machina into pieces.

The machina then got destroyed.

When they got out of there, they were on the other side the lake.

" Kimahri needs to smoke some weed now to get DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" yelled Kimahri

Then they went near guadosalam until Tidus saw a very familiar Al Bheds.

" That wasn't very nice you know." said the Al Bhed in a suit

She then took off her uniform. She was a hottie without that uniform.

" Hey it's you, what was your name." said Rikku

" I never told you my name. Anyway, my name is Tidus." said TIdus

" Hey Tidus, remembered we made out, why don't we make out right now." said Rikku

" No" said Tidus

" Come on, no one is watching" said Rikku, hoping he'd agree

But then came the whole party of guardians.

" Al Bhed!" said Wakka

" kill her" said Lulu

And they started attacking her.

" Wait, she's not a bad guy. She's a good guy." said Tidus

" Says you, and she's not a guy, retard." said Wakka

" Well, can I be your guardian? asked Rikku to Yuna

" Sure, the more the merrier" said Yuna

" I'm going to keep an eye on this girl, even when she go to the bathroom." said Wakka

" Ewwwww" said Rikku

So they were walking to Guadosalam.

At Guadosalam, Rikku said" Hey, i just invented this awesome customizing thing that allow us to customize weapons."

" Awesome" said Tidus

" Can this customizing also cusomize drugs for Kimahri because Kimahri is almost out of drugs." said Kimahri

" Sure Kimahri" said Rikku

Then a Guado came before them.

" Greetings, summoners and guardians. My name is George, George guado. I believe you are here to see Maester Seymour."

" No, we were here to see the farplane. " said Yuna

" The maester will be at the temple." said George

" Hey, didn't you hear that we are here to see Maester Seymour?" asked Yuna

" Maester Seymour will be available anytime so if you want to see him now, go see him" said George as he walked away.

" That old son of a bitch doesn't know that we're here to see the farplane, not Maester Seymour. He will be on my death list when I get the final Aeon." said Yuna

So they walked up some stairs and into the farplane.

" I'm staing out here because I'm scared of seeing my dead ancestor." said Rikku

" Why?" asked Tidus

" Because they might come out and strangle me half to death." said Rikku

" I'm staying out here too." said Auron

" Okay, bye Auron" said Tidus

And the others walked into the farplane.

" Wow , place is really creepy. " said Tidus

" Yeah, I'm going to have a look at my brother Chappu." said Wakka

" You can see dead people here?" asked Tidus

" Yup, the farplane is like a heaven to dead people. In this heaven, we can see our dead and the dead can see us." said Wakka

" Okay, that is very disturbing" said Tidus

So the each of them went to see their owndead family members or friends. After a couple minute of seeing them, they went to the Guado temple.

" Greetings, summoner and guardians. I am here to ask a very disturbing thing." said Maester Seymour

" what is that disturbing?" said Tidus

" Yuna, will you marry me?"asked Seymour to Yuna, kneeling down to his knees and holding a diamond ring.

Yuna thought about it for a long time. Then she spatted" Hell no, I'm saving my marriage for Tidus, oops" said Yuna

" Well then, I will make you marry me." said Seymour snapping his fingers

" Okay nevermind, let's get to our marriage" said Yuna

" good, we shall meet at Macalania and marry at Bevelle. Now come, we are to go to Macalania." said Seymour

" OMG, Yuna is going to marry a half guado, that's more disturbing than watching gay porn with gay people by your side." said Tidus

" We gotta go stop Yuna or else who knows what might happen." said Wakka

" I know what will happen, they will do it together and then Seymour is going to invite one of his gay friends over for a threesome and then Seymour will invite 12 more friends and they will all hump yuna to the death. Then Yuna will have some weird looking babies that will be an abomination" said Tidus

" OMFG, we got to stop that from happening." said Wakka

" Yup, so let's get to Macalania" said Lulu

" Right" said Tidus

" Hey wait, I'm not gone yet so don't get scary thoughts just now." said Yuna

" Greeting, summoners and guardians. I can tell that your friend Tidus doesn't want us to get married. Perhaps I should send him to the asylum." said Maester Seymour

" Hey, he's my guardian so no taking him away." said Yuna

" Fine, anyway. Greetings, summoners and guardians. I will meet you all at macalania. " said Seymour as he walked away.

" That gay creep, I'll show him who's the one who should go to the asylum." said Tidus

So they got out of guadosalam and and into the thunder plain.

" AHHH this place is scary." said RIkku

" I knew'd you say that. Little girls always says that," said Auron

" Hey, I'm not a little girl!" said Rikku angrily

" oooooooh little girl as a temper." said Auron

" F YOU MAN!" said Rikku

" Now, now little girl. Respect your elders" said Auron

" Grrrr" growled Rikku

So they walked until Rikku was too scared to go any farther.

" Can we stop here please." said Rikku

" No, we got to move on." said Auron

" But I'm scared of this place. Can we rest here?" said Rikku

" Fine, you're worse than the lightning" said Auron

" I swear, kids these days. They have no respect for their elder." said Auron

" Hello people, My name is"----- But Tidus cut cross him saying" We don't care about your name. We just want to stay here."

" My, what a very rude man. Measter Kinoc was right about you. Here's a book about manners. " said the travel agency manager in thunder plain.

" GRRRR" growled Tidus as he ripped the book into shreds

" Anyway, my name is Connie. I shall sell you a room for 100k gil each." said Connie

" What!00K!!! That's the most expensive renting fee I'd ever seen." said Tidus

" Tidus, that's the cheapest." said Yuna

So they all paid 100k and went to their room.


	7. Chapter 7

In Yuna's bedroom, Yuna said" I hope marrying a half-guado won't hurt his feelings. Well I better go to the bathroom."

She went out to the bathroom, but did not bother looking to her left. Tidus was obviously spying on her. Only a complete moron couldn't see Tidus.

Meanwhile... at the girl bathroom.

" Would you get out of the girl bathroom?!" said Rikku

" I'm keeping an eye on you, Al Bhed" said Wakka

" Well, not in the girl bathroom!" said Rikku

" Shut up and get back to your business" said Wakka

Meanwhile... At Yuna's Bedroom

" mmmmmmm, Yuna's panties smell's good," said Yuna

Then Wakka came and said, " Hey, WTF are you doing in Yuna's bedroom?"

Then Wakka grab Tidus by the throught and tried strangling his neck saying" Why you little! GRR GRR GRR"

" Hey , WTF is your problem." said TIdus

" My problem is that you're being a gay pervert" said Wakka

" F you " said TIdus

Wakka bitchslapped him." you shut up and if you go to her bedroom ever again, I will swear that you will die." said Wakka as he walked away.

" Yuna should put Wakka on the deathlist when she gets the final Aeon." said Tidus

" Why should I to that?" said Yuna

" HOLY SHIT!" said Tidus

" Yes, there was a lot of commotion of you and Wakka. I came here to check on you guys if you aren't smelling my panties" said Yuna

Tidus put his hand behind his back, trying to hide the panty in his right hand.

" I think you're hiding something." said Yuna

" No I'm not, " putting his arm closer and more secure together.

" I bet you have a lot of feeling about me right now." said Yuna

" No I don't" said Tidus

" You want these, don't you" said Yuna, grabbing her breasts.

" no" said Tidus. But in his mind, he said yes

" Don't liiiiiiiiiiieee" said Yuna

He couldn't resist it. He wanted to squeeze those melons of Yuna. But then...

" Haha phyque. I knew you were hiding my panties" said Yuna as she put back on her bra.

Tidus look at his right hand and said" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" so loud that from here to guadosalam they can hear it.

" Well, good night" said Yuan as she went to bed.

Tidus crawled back into his bed. Shivering at what he just did. He can't fall for it the next time.

The next day, they all went to macalania.

" This place gives me the shiver." said Tidus

" Then everythings gives you the shiver. There is probably no other place this quiet and peaceful." said Wakka

" This place crawls with fiends!" exclaimed Tidus

" Fiends that are easy to kill, like you" said Wakka

" F you" said Tidus

Wakka bitchslapped Tidus him." I really have to swear that kids these day have absolutely no respect for their elders." said Wakka

Tidus muttered a swore under his breath.

So they got through macalania forest and to macalania lake.

At Macalania lake, they were greeted by George guado.

" Hello people, I'm here to tell you that Lord Seymour is at Macalania temple. If you want to see him, go to him right now."

" Um, we came here to go through the temple. I don't want to marry him yet." said Yuna

" Well, have a good time with him." said George Guado as he walked away.

" I really should kill this old Guado." said Yuna

But then Al Bheds came in.

" Ka kohg juuger ner cah foogs hoog poofer nuggfs juh run." said An Al Bhed guy ( We came here to destory the Guados, prepare to die)

" Run for your life." said George as he started running

" RUN!!!" said the Al Bhed guy (DIE!!!)

So Yuna and her guardians walked through as the Al Bhed fought the Guado.

And then they were in Macalania temple.

At Macalania temple, they were discussing about how they were going to get married.

" Okay, so I get a the Aeon first, then I get married." said Yuna

" We wish you luck." said Lulu

" I don't need any" said Yuna as she walked off.

" I have to agree with Wakka about young people manners' said Lulu

" Hey, what's this" said Rikku looking at the ground.

" It's a sphere, Al Bhed. Unless you've never seen one" said Wakka meanly

" Hey, dont' be a such a meanie." said Rikku, bending down to pick up the sphere.

But Wakka slapped her hand.

" Hey don't touch it, Al Bhed." said Wakka as he picked it up.

" What do you suppose it tells us." said TIdus

" I don't know yet so stfu" said Wakka as he turned it on

It showed Lord Jyscal Guado.

" I hate this world as i hate my son. My son stole everything I had and my wife life. I cast this abominatioin to Baaj temple for him to live forever. If he come to guadosalam, may God strike him lightning dead. Anyway, my son killed so that;'s the only important thing you should know. He's gay as well."

And the show ended.

" OMG, so Seymour was the one to kill lord Jyscal. We have to tell Yuna that." said Wakka

" Not only that, we must stop Yuna from marrying a gay person." said Tidus

" Then let's go" said Auron.

They went to the cloister of trial room.

" whatever enemy gets in our way of protecting Yuna, we kill it. Including a maester." said Auron

" Yeah, but I didn't know Maester Symour was Gay." said Wakka

Then they were at the temple room.

" Seymour Gayass!" said Tidus

" Greeting summoner and guardians. Please be quiet, Lady Yuna is still begging." said Seymour

" Screw the rules man, rules were meant to be broken." said Tidus

Seymour turned to face them. Then Yuna came out.

" Oh but why" said Yuna

" Why, because I'm gay of course. I humped my dad with a couple of friends to death." said Seymour

" That's messed up." said Yuna

" I see, then why did you come here if you thought that was messed?" asked Seymour

" I came.. to stop you" said Yuna

" I see, so you came to punish me then." said Seymour

The guardians came to their offensive position.

" Greeting summoner and guardians. I see that your guardians are brave and foolish enough to die. I guess I will have to squeeze the life out of them then." said Seymour with some bodyguard with his side.

"I love my guardian and this time i will actually do something" said Yuna

" Finally, said Lulu

" ATTACKKKK!!!!" yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Kimahri

And they closed in for combat


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

At the begininng, Seymour and his bodyguard autocast some spells on themselves. The body guards cast guards on themselves while Seymour cast shell on himself.

" I knew you were gay from the start because you got some weird hair style." said Tidus

" Why, I never knew you were such a meanie." said Seymour

Tidus strength rose magically.

" I will kick your ass because you're gay" said Yuna

" Your eye says you want to marry me, beautiful" said Seymour

Yuna magic defense suddenly rose.

" Maester, you got to stop you being gay." said Wakka

" I will if Yuna marries me" said Seymour

" Okay, nevermind" said Wakka

Wakka strength suddenly rose.

Lulu focused on Seymour using her spells while Wakka, Tidus. Kimahri, Auron, and Rikku attacked the guards.

Yuna of course, sat back and watch.

" Hey Yuna, why don't you fing do something?" asked Tidus

" I would, but i realize that I am useless with my aeons" said Yuna

" Then why don't you heal us?' Asked Wakka

" I would, but I'm out of mana. I used them all for heal myself." said Yuna

"FING" said Tidus

So they had to attack Seymour without getting healed.

Wakka tried throwing a blitzball at Seymour, but his guards blocked the damage and used auto potion to heal the damage. Auron tried slashing the guards in two, but the protect spell seem to protect them quite well and stopped them from being chopped up. Tidus was cought under confusion from one of the guard. Kimahri smoked some weed and used his lance to stab the guards, but they used dispel and dispeled the drugs power. Leaving Kimahri too weak to attack.

Then Seymour used fira to burn all of them.

" Fire!!!!!! WOO WOO" said Tidus

" fools, throw what you can at me, I'm too strong for all of you." said Seymour

Then Yuna whacked Seymour with the staff.

" Ouch that hurt. Feel my pain, come Anima" said Seymour

A chain dug deep into the ground. Then out came Anima.

" Yuna, summon the Aeon." said Tidus, racking his head from confusion.

" Oh fayth, lend me strength." said Yuna

Yuna then summoned shiva.

" Wow, she's hotter than Yuna" thought Tidus

" Shiva, use your overdrive." commanded Yuna

" Anima, use pain." said Seymour

Anima started the pain move.

" NOOOOOOO" yelled Tidus as he jumped in the pain attack. The pain attack hit him square in the chest. He made a face of pain as he collasped.

" Pheonix down." said Yuna

" Finally, Yuna did something" said Auron

They delayed just enough time for Shiva to use her overdrive, and with one snap of a finger, Anima froze.

Then Seymour summoned Anima away.

" The power that defeated Anima, it must be mine." said Seymour

Seymour multi casted fira that burned all of them.

" Yahhhhhhhh!!!!" said Yuna as she charged at Seymour. Seymour attempted to freeze her, but she kept on charging. She got close to Seymour and whack him in the face with the staff.

" Ouch!" shouted Seymour as he fell down." Greetings, summoner and guardians.Would you feel pity for me? Even now?"

" F you" said Yuna as she flicked her middle finger at him.

" You go girl." said Rikku

Yuna giggled" thanks"

But then, George Guado came in saying" WTF happened here. Lord Seymour, noooo"

" Yuna, send him" said Auron. Yuna started that thing to send until George said " stop traitors, we shall deal with you later after I eat some tictacs for my announcement." He left away later.

" Traitors he called me, eh? I really should put him on my deathlist" said Yuna as she took out a notebook and started writing the name George Guado.

" Hey, I don't get it. Seymour was the bad guy and we were the good guy. Why won't they understand?" said Tidus

" Because most Guado are dooches that doesn't pay attention to the outside world." said Lulu

" Seymour must really be a dooche because he killed his dad and tried to kill us" said Rikku

" We best get the hell out of here" said Auron

" Right" said TIdus

So they used the elevator and got out of there, only to meet a horde of guado there with some killing intent.

" Please, we can explain by showing you Lord Jyscal sphere" said Yuna

" Oh, you mean this?" said George, showing them the sphere.

He then got a hammer and smashed it into a million pieces.

" Guado people deal with guado things" said George

" DOOCHESSSS!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!" yelled Auron as he started running.

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" yelled Kimahri as he took some steroid.

They all ran for their life. Some guados were chasing after them. 2 of them managed to cought up using superspeed boots.

Then once they were at Macalania lake, Bigfoot came after them. It had ice over his face and hair all over. It charged at Yuna and her guardians. Wakka hit it's face with a blitzball. Lulu used fira to burn it. Tidus, Kimahri, and Auron slashed it's arm off. Rikku threw some flash grenades at it. Yuna of course, sat back and watch.

" Hey, why don't you freaking do something? asked Tidus furiously as he tried to get up after being hit by the bigfoot in the face.

" I would, but I think I should take a day off" said Yuna as she yawned and fell asleep.

" Man, is she really worth being my girlfriend?" thought Tidus to himself

They fought and they fought until a big explosion came up.

Then they were somewhere mysterious.

" Where are we?" asked Tidus weakly.

" We are at the bottom of the lake." said Lulu

" WTF, how did we get here?" asked Tidus

" We must have fell down after Rikku threw that super flash grenade" said Lulu

" Al Bheds" said Wakka grudgingly glaring at Rikku

" Hey, where's Yuna?" asked Tidus

" She's gone, I expect she won't be gone for long" said Lulu

" Well, how are we going to get out of here?" asked Tidus

" I know, we can use another super flash grenade" said Rikku

" Oh no, we are not going to use another machina. Yevon's teaching said so and if you betray it, you should go to hell." said Wakka

" Well, it's the only way out of here" said Rikku

" Fine" said Wakka crossing his arms.

She made a flash grenade and then a big explosion came up.

And the next thing Tidus knew was that he was on some sort of sandy desert.

" Where am I?" asked Tidus

He went to look around for the other.

" Hey, I'm over here." said Auron

" Me too" said Lulu

" Well, let's go find the others." said Tidus

So they all went on searching.


	9. Chapter 9

So they found Kimahri and Rikku soon enough.

" Kimahri was digging through sand to look for drugs," said Kimahri

" Well come on, we got to go find Yuna" said Rikku

So they went to the Al Bhed home. Only to find that it was being attacked by Guado(dooches are a better word for them) and fiends.

" WTF how did this happen?!" said Rikku

" Duh, it got attacked by dooches and their fiends, geesh Al Bheds" said Wakka

" Well, time to find Yuna" said Tidus, not caring what's happening now

So they went to find Yuna in a summoner and guardian sanctum.

" What?! you mean you've been capturing summoners and guardians just to keep them safe?" asked Wakka

" Well duh, don't you know that when summoners get final Aeon, they die with it." said Rikku

" WTF, you never told me that!" said Tidus

" Well you're suppose to know it yourself" said Rikku

" Fing man " said TIdus

Flashback scene:

" Okay, here's how to whistle " said Tidus

He demonstrated somekind of whistle with his two finger.

" Now you try"

Yuna tried to do it, but couldn't. She tried it again and again until Tidus finally said " you stupid girl, can't you whistle?" asked Tidus

" Hell no, I've never tried it" said Yuna

" Well then, what do you for fun?" asked Tidus

" Well, I get some insane drugs from Kimahri and laugh out loud in the open" said Yuna

" You are some weird person"

" heh thanks"

End of flashback:

" And all the time Yuna spent with you guys, it was like raising Yuna like a pig to be turned into bacons" said Tidus

" I could use some bacon" said Wakka

" STFU Wakka, can't you be smart for a second?" said Tidus

" Nah, I just like being like this" said Wakka

"F you then" said Tidus

They got out of the sanctum and then came a huge ship.

" Get in the ship or else you will die" said the Al Bhed man.

So they all got on the ship. Then the man fired some big rocket launcher that blowed up home.

" Now let's sing our prayer to HOME" said The man

" Juheo" said the driver (roger)

" Well, you Al Bheds sure like to copy the hymm of the fayth and turn it into a abomination,Eh? What other things will you do, you sick bastards?" asked Wakka angrily

" Hey, it's a free world so we can do whatever we want!" said Rikku

" Then you guys are free to go hell." said Wakka

" Hey, where did you guys put Yuna" said Tidus suddenly and grabbing Cid(The Man) by the throat.

" You fing queer, with your queer patrol, you go to get the final Aeon and send my niece to hell. Now let me go" said Cid

" I'll let you go when hell freezes over"

" Well F you son of a bitch" said Cid

Then Cid grabbed Tidus and threw him over the stairs.

" If you throw my niece to hell and come back alive, I will kick your ass." said Cid

"GRRR" growled Tidus

" anyway, where's Yuna?" asked Rikku

" Why, she have been stolen by us from the dooches" said Cid

" F, they better not have raped her with their dingdong" said Tidus

" There they are" said Brother( the driver)

Tidus and the other looked out the window and saw Yuna in a wedding dress with Seymour.

" f that gay son of a bitch. I'm so going to kick his ass when I get there" said Tidus

Then came a loud boom.

" WTF was that?" asked Tidus

" we better go check" said Lulu

So they went to the top floor. And found some kind of wierd sky serpent.

" WTF is that thing?" asked Tidus

" It's evrae atlanta, the guardian of bevelle" said Lulu

" Well let's kill it" said TIdus

" Now hang on, I need to go to the bathroom first" said Auron

" F" said Tidus

The rest of them went to the roof and went to fight evrae atlanta.

" ATTACKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!" yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Kimahri

And they closed for combat.

They got near Evrae as Wakka threw a blitzball at it. Tidus used energy rain and blasted evrae. Lulu used firaga on it as kimahri used fire breath. Rikku threw flash grenades at it.

Then Evrae used poison breath and it smelled real bad. Then he used haste on himself and became strong and fast.

Tidus said" move back" to Cid. Then Cid moved ship back.

Afterward, Cid fired some rockets at evrae.

Evrae came back and slashed the group.

" Ouch man, that hurt." said Tidus

" Time for plan B" said Auron

" WTF took you so long" asked Tidus

" i was reading some porn magazine" said Auron

" F you" said TIdus

" Anyway, SLASH!" yelled Auron as he attacked evrae

With one mighty slash, Auron defeated Evrae.

" Now let's get to Bevelle" said Tidus

They drove the ship to bevelle. Tidus wondered if they would die after looking at the ship. He saw a lot of armed people with rifle. At the sight of the ship, they fired at it. Seymour pulled Yuna up the stairs to the marriage place.

" Get ready to jump" said Tidus

They got to point and they magically managed to avoid a lot of bullets flying at them. Then they jumped onto that building.

" Time to kill those Yevonites" said Wakka

" DRUGSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" said Kimahri

And then any machine or person that went into their way were either slashed or burned into pieces. Bullets and missle were flying fast through each of them and they managed to avoid them all. Then they were at the top of that ship. But when they turned around, they saw Yevonites with rifle surrounding them.

" WTF, I thought we killed them" said Tidus

" hello people, but we Yevonites can magically appear anywhere in Bevelle" said Measter Kinoc

" The f, how did you get here" said Tidus

" My what a very rude and stupid boy you are, i just explained to you how we got here" said Kinoc, pointing a rifle at Tidus face

" Well, i never knew that Bevelle would turn into benadict Arnolds" said Auron as Kinoc pointed the rifle at his face.

" My, You are just like the dooches who don't keep up with other people. We were Benedict Arnolds from the very start" said Kinoc

" Then f you guy, you are no better than dooches" said Auron

" Seymour, hurry up and kiss Yuna" said Maester Jabba

" Greeting summoner and guardians, I am about to marry Yuna, any last word before I do?" said Seymour

" Yes, F you" said Tidus as he flicked his middle finger.

" K, that does it." He turned to Yuna" you must choose to either marry me and your guardians die or marry and your guardians gets sent to the dungeon." said Seymour

" What's the dungeon like" asked Yuna

" Oh, it's just full of gay people" said Seymour

" K, I choose that they die" said Yuna

" you made a wise choice" said Seymour

Then Seymour grabbed Yuna shoulder and then kissed her.

" Ewwwww you use lipsticks on your lips " said Yuna

" Yes I do," he turned to face the guardians. " Now kill them."

But then Yuna was on the brink of the building.

" Throw down your weapon or I will comit suicide " said Yuna

Seymour waved a hand to make sure those Benedict Arnold drop their weapon.

" I will fly away now" said Yuna

" fool, you can't fly" said Seymour

" Believe in me, my guardians" said Yuna

Then she dropped.  
Seymour and Jabba looked down at Yuna.

" I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYYYY!" said Yuna as she spread her arm like a bird.

Then she started flying.

" RUNNNNN" said Rikku as she threw a flash grenade.

" We get out of here" said Kimahri

" Let me go, I going to go kick Seymour ass" said Tidus

" No, Yuna said we get out of here" said Auron

" We best get to the temple of Bevelle." said Lulu

They dropped all the way to Bevelle temple


	10. Chapter 10

So the guardians were at the temple

" WTF is this?" said Wakka, pointing at a glowing sphere.

" It's a machina, I'm sure it will come in handy.: said Rikku

" No, I mean the teaching. Sheesh, you Al Bhed can't understand a thing" said Wakka

" So I guess Bevelle were Benedict Arnold" said Auron

Tidus wondered whether Yuna was safe or not. If she was safe, then she in the chamber of the fayth. If she wasn't, then she was in court. But then again, perhaps she knew that she would be safe because she was the one who jumped off that building.

They decided not to use the machina sphere.

When they were at the door to enter the cloister of trial, Kimahri said" Kimahri just smoked a whole bunch of weeds and is seeing things, Kimahri stay here until mind can control vision."

" Okay, Kimahri. Just come catch up later." said Rikku

They got through the long and boring cloister of trial room because there was no elevator to go through.

" Well, Yuna is in the chamber of the fayth." said Auron

" Then I'm going in to see her." said Tidus as he tried to open the door.

" Kimahri help Tidus open chamber door using steroids." said Kimahri

" WTF Kimahri how you get here so fast?" asked Tidus

" Kimahri smoked so much weed that Kimahri has telekinesis power" said Kimahri

So they pushed the door open and went inside.

" What is that?" asked Tidus, pointing at an ethereal little boy hovering above the aeon stone.

" That's the fayth." said Auron " The summoner begs the fayth to join with them to create an Aeon. Bahamut is usually a stubborn one, so this will take a while"

" How do a fayth join with a summoner?" asked Tidus

" Well, the fayth goes into the summoner and they have a mind fist fight----"

" excuse me, but a mind fist fight?" asked Tidus

" The mind fist fight when they enter the summoner mind and they fight each other using fists" said Auron

" How do you know that the summoner will win?" asked Tidus

" Well, if the summoner lose, they get stripped naked and put into a coma. If they win, they will just lose conciousness for a few moment" said Auron

Then Bahamut join with Yuna as she lost counciousness.

" Well, i can tell Yuna won" said Auron

Then Rikku called out" wait, don't get come out of there"

But they got out there anyway and saw a bunch of Bevelle soldier.

" Hello traitors, we were meeting you" said Kinoc

" How you guys get in here fast?" asked Auron

" That machina sphere was a portal to the chamber of fayth" said Kinoc

" Well f" said Auron

Then they took Yuna to court. At court came out a big Ronso

" Summoner Yuna would betray Bevelle. Why do Summoner still seek her pilgrimage?" asked Maester Boogster

" Before I answer, I will tell you that Seymour is the real Benedict Arnold and is dead, and he's gay" said Yuna

" We already know he's gay" said Maester Jabba

" He was the one to kill Maester jyscal, and I must send him" said Yuna

" Wait, if you send him, you will have to send me too" said Jabba as fireflies came out of him.

" WTF, you're dead too?" asked Yuna

" Yup, you see. Living people are dumb and lazy like your friends are. If you are dead, your wisdom and ambitiousness expand tenthousandfold." said Jabba

" So basically, we want the dead to rule over Spira." said Seymour

" Well, f you dead people." said Yuna

Then leter, while Yuna's guardians were in jail

" Hey let me out you mother Fers " yelled Tidus

" Yelling isn't going to get us out of here" said Auron

" Well, i don't see you doing anything" said Tidus

Then Kinoc came in with a bunch of guards.

" Hello people, it's time we put you into out judgement" said Kinoc

" Don't you mean execution?" asked Auron

" I'm too lazy to kill, so I will slowly torture you guys"

So they sent Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka to walk the plank and Yuna, Kimahri, Lulu, and Auron to the dungeon.

At TRW place...

" So they expect us just to give us and die down here?" asked Tidus

" Well duh, this is slow torture" said Wakka

" F" said Tidus

" Hey, I never expected to die with an Al Bhed by my side" said Wakka

" Well it's your problem" said Rikku

" Shut up Al Bhed, I'm still watching you." said Wakka

At YKLA place...

Yuna and the others were put into seperate different areas. Yuna went around the dungeon to find then others. At the end, the met summoner Jigger.

" I have been sentence to come and kill you guys" said Jigger

" Well whoever told you that was either a dooche or an old, no life man" said Yuna

" It's was an old man" said Jigger

" Even worse" said Yuna

" Enough talk, I will now-----"

Then Auron slashed Jigger

" Now what huh? It's was 4 on 1" said Auron looking down on Jigger

" Let's get out of here" said Lulu

Meanwhile at TRW place...

They were swimming out of that place. It was amazing that they could hold their breath for that long.

But then, fireflies came out and created Evrae Atlanta.

" F!!" said Tidus as he swam as fast as he can away from it

Then they reached a dead end.

" We're going to have to fight it" said Tidus

" Don't worry, just use 2 pheonix down" said Rikku

" RIght" said Tidus

He used 2 pheonix down on evrae and it went down.

Then they swam out of there.


	11. Chapter 11

So they were on the way out of their prison when suddenly a dooche came dragging a dead queer with him.

" Seymour Gayass!" yelled Tidus

" Greeting summoner and guardians, I have killed Kinoc because he wanted power beyond anything. I killed him and he became free" said Seymour

" You got some serious mental problem" said Rikku

" NO!" said Auron

" Now I shall join sin and destroy Spira and free it from evil" said Seymour

" KILL HIM!!!!" yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" yelled Kimahri

" Foolish people" said Seymour as he took out a staff, waved it around, and then charged some black energy that transformed him into a hideous monster with somekind of a claw thing that attacks.

" Run, Kimahri will kill him with drugs power" said Kimahri as he got his lance out to attack Seymour.

" You heard him, now lets run!" said Auron as they started running

They were almost out of Bevelle when suddenly Yuna turned around and said " We got to help him"

" He's fine, he got drugs power by his side anyway" said Wakka

" Yeah but drugs power looks like it is failing on him" said Rikku, looking at Kimahri

Kimahri was in serious trouble. He was being slashed all over by that claw thing and nearly burned to death by his fira.

" Let's go" said Yuna as she ran to help Kimahri

" Right" said Tidus

" Well, I never thought i ever get to fight a dead maester" said Wakka

They were running and running until they ran up to Kimahri. Yuna casted cura on Kimahri.

" Maester Kinoc may have been a queer, but he was also my friend. You'll pay for his death you gay asshole." and Auron Strength increased

" I will never join you in the name of Spira" said Yuna as her magic defense increased

" You heard Yuna, I will kill you if you didn't" said Tidus as his strength increased

Wakka threw a blitzball at Seymour, but his claw thing bounced it right back to Wakka. Lulu tried to use firaga on Seymour, but Seymour had a fire ring on him and it made him immune to fire element. Rikku threw a flash flood grenade at Seymour and he got hurt heavily, but thanks to mortiabsorbtion, he healed all the damage on him. Kimahri used thrust kick on Seymour, but was turned to stone by a slashed of that claw. Tidus used energy rain on Seymour and it hurted him a lot. Then Auron slashed Seymour.

Then a big flash came up and then you can hear Tidus talking.

" Today wan't that bad for us, but bad for Yuna because she found out something. Spira was a benedict arnold."

They were at that Macalania forest in a small place resting at night.

" Well, we better get continuing on Yuna's pilgrimage." said Wakka

" I wonder if she still got the guts to" said Rikku

" Hey you Al Bheds making fun of a Summoner. I always wonder why Yuna picked you as her guardian" said Wakka

" Well for your information, I am a better guardian than you" said Rikku

" Well you're more younger and more naive than me so respect your elder" said Wakka

" Well I better go find Yuna" said Tidus as he walked off.

He walked off for a while until he saw Yuna in a lake. Tidus heard Yuna saying things

" Spira, why did you had to turn into a Benedict Arnold." said Yuna. Just then Tidus came up and scared Yuna.

" What you doing?" asked Tidus

" Just wondering what I should do now" said Yuna

" Well I got one thing for you. Quite your pilgrimage, quite everything and live a normal life like me. I can take you to my Zanarkand and you can watch me play blitzball" said Tidus

" And I can cheer and cheer until I can cheer no more." said Yuna

" Yeah, and in the night we go out in a bar and get drunk" said Tidus

" You mean that you don't sleep at night?" asked Yuna

" Yup because at Zanarkand we never sleep" said Tidus

" Then we can go out and see the moonlight shining above us at the tallest building."

But then Yuna started crying

" I wish... sniff sniff... that I could go... sniff sniff" cried Yuna

" Yuna..." said Tidus

Tidus went to grab her arm and they kissed. They kissed and were happy and they managed to float in the air. Yes, and Kimahri was watching them saying" Yuna made out with a guy that does not take drugs. Kimahri wish Yuna would make out with me as well"

Then after a while, Yuna and Tidus sat down and watched the moonlight shine above them.

" Well, we better head back" said Tidus

The next day, the guardians and summoner got up early in the morning to walk off to a big plain.

" What is this place?" asked Tidus

" This is called the calm land. This is where Summoner fight Sin using the final Aeon. Summoner come and go through this place they say." said Lulu

Yuna took a view, and sat down on the grass.

" I wish I can come and come back to this place" said Yuna

" Well, we better get going" said Tidus

They were walking through clam land until they rest at an Al Bhed tent thing. Then a holy priest came up to them.

" Greeting summoner and guardians, I have heard that you people were branded traitors of Spira by Maester Seymour " said Father

" Well if you come from that Gayass, I will slash you into pieces" said Tidus

" Nay i just come to warn you people. Keep this piece of information in your mind." said Father

" We will Father" said Lulu

He did that pray thing and walked off.

Then the guardians and summoner walked off until they were at a bridged. Then some dooches came and said" Halt, you shall not go any further. By the order of Maester Seymour, I must take you to him"

" Get out of our way you dooche" said Yuna

" The Maester does not need you alive" said the dooche as a giant robot came and started attacking the guardians.

" ATTTACKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" Yelled Tidus

" DRUGSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" yelled Kimahri

The first thing Yuna did was cast protect on herself and her guardians. Kimahri used firebreath on it and it used that hammerhand to pummel Kimahri. Auron used magic break and then Lulu used multiple Waterga. Rikku used some flash flood and Tidus used energy rain on the robot. Wakka then used his waterball and killed it. The dooches ran away in terror.

" Those Dooches, I am so going to kill them one day" said Yuna

And so they continued walking. Now normally I would end it, but since I have not been writing for a while i will continue it so yo wouldn't have to wait a long time for another one.

So they continued walking and walking until they reached the gates of mount Gagazet. Then a big Ronso came and say " halt you traitorous bastards of Yevon, I cannot allow you to pass."

" You get out of our way or we will have to deal with you too." said Tidus

" You people cannot pass because you are traitors" said Maester bigfoot

" I must go on because I must save the world from Sin" said Yuna

" But why continue when branded traitor?" asked Bigfoot

" Because this pilgrimage is my only hope now. If I turn my back on it even right now, what face do I have? I cannot let my guardians down, nor can I let the people that once believed in me down. This pilgrimage means a lot to mean, and I am not afraid to not turn it down" said Yuna

" You have the will of steel. You have guts that many men can never hope to have. You have a will that no Ronso can hope to bend. I will allow you and your guardians to continue on your pilgrimage. We will keep anyway evil people from bothering you guys." said Bigfoot

" Thank you" replied Yuna

Then they walked on through the gate until they were stopped by 2 Ronsos. " Halt" said one of those Ronso as the group stopped

" Summoner may go, guardians may go, but Kimahri stays." said ripper

" Why him?" asked Tidus

" Kimahri betrayed code of drugs and lost his horn. Kimahri is not worthy of passing through this place." said Ripper

" Kimahri once betrayed code of drugs. Kimahri will fight them himself" said Kimahri as he stepped up

" Well you hornless Ronso. Let's see who is the better Ronso" said Ripper

" Yeah" said Crippler

" DRUGSSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" yelled Kimahri

" DRUGSSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" yelled Ripper and Crippler

They closed in for combat.

" No horn means weak Ronso." said Ripper

" Hornless, Hornless" teased Crippler

Ripper and Cripper first cast mighty guard on themselves as Kimahri gets ready for a slash with lance at Ripper, but Crippler went on defense mode and defended Ripper from attack.

" Not good enough." said Crippler.

Then Ripper tackled through Kimahri and on to the other side of Kimahri. Kimahri used fire breath on Crippler, but Crippler was still in defense mode and didn't take much damage.

Ripper used seed bullet and bulleted Kimahri several times. Kimahri had to take drugs to heal himself.

Crippler tackled through Kimahri and was on the same side with Ripper.

Kimahri then took rageahol and got so angry that he casted the most powerful overdrive of the Ronso: NOVA.

That Nova blast was so great that it even managed to destroy a planet. BAMMMMMM!!!!!!! and Kimahri won.

" Dun du du dunnnnn" sang Kimahri in a heroic tune.

" Very well then, Kimahri may past through mountain." said Ripper

And so they waklked on


	12. Chapter 12

So they were all walking up toward mount gagazet and toward the final aeon. Lulu sometime stop to explain some boring facts about guardians and summoner that came and died here so we'll skip all the way until they reach the mountain top.

Once they got there, Rikku stopped and said " Zanarkand is just on the other side of this place you know."

" What do I know?" asked Tidus

" Well, you came from Zanarkand so shouldn't you know or something?" asked Rikku.

" Nope, cause I am the star of the Zanarkand blitz, the most cheating team of our time" said Tidus

" Ahhh no wonder you were retarded." said Rikku

But then, a gayass appeared out of nowhere.

" Greetings, summoners and guardians. Did you miss me?" asked Seymour Gayass

" I will never miss a gayass like you" said Tidus

" I overheard your conversation and I hear that you are the son of Jecht." said Seymour

" You mean that you were there all along and you didn't just appear out of nowhere?" asked Tidus

" Yup, I was there watching you pass, not even hiding myself, and no one notice me." said Seymour

" F you!" yelled Tidus

Then Kimahri came and said " Save some for Kimahri, I'm going to turn his blood into drug pills"

The other came in as well.

" Greetings, summoner and guardians. I know that your poor friend here is suffering thorugh a very harsh time. I just so happens to kill many Ronso before you arrived." said Seymour

" What do you mean?" asked Yuna

" Stupid little girl, I mean that I killed the Ronso specie from here. I burn them using the firaga spell and they all fled with fear. Some of them used their so called drugs power and managed to jump one mile up in the air to get me, but it so happens that this mountain is only 1123 yards up in the air and so they jumped too high and I killed them while they were up in the air." said Seymour.

" F Seymour, asshole" said Kimahri

" Allow Kimahri to die and he will be freed from pain. I will join Sin with your help Yuna, and kill Spira." said Seymour

" And what are you going to do once you killed everyone?" asked Rikku

" Hey, shut up, you don't get any screen time here." said Seymour

" arrrgh, you dooches make me so mad that I want to kick your bloody ass so hard you kiss the moon." said Tidus as he charged at Seymour

" Pitiful mortals." said Seymour as he rose up into the air, " Your time is up and you shall all die here."

Seymour then turned into an ugly monster like he was before, except this time a little bit more uglier.

Anyway, they all got into position. Tidus attacked Seymour with energy rain and Wakka attacked him with elemental slots. Lulu used double cast and double casted Firaga at Seymour. Auron used drunken slash after drinking a jug of wine and turned into drunk mode. Kimahri smoked a lot of weed and crack together and turned into semi drunk and semi visionary mode. Rikku threw a fire gem at Seymour while everyone was preparing to attack. Yuna, of course, sat back and relax.

" Hey Yuna, why don't you fing do something?" asked Tidus

" I would, but I don't feel like it today" said Yuna as she sat back.

" F her, is she really worth dying for?" asked Tidus

Then, Seymour strikes back. He used some stupid lance thing on Tidus and Wakka and then casted full life on them. Seymour casted dispel on Kimahri and Auron to dispel their drunk and visionary mode.

He then rise his two swords up in the air and came down to slash Kimahri, Auron, Rikku, and Lulu all together.

It was all up to Yuna now. Yuna had to fight and kill Seymour, the fate of the world rest upon her shoulders now. Well, really she is just thinking about that right now. There could be someone else that comes and save her in this story. But let's hear what happens.

So she blindly ran at Seymour and started wacking his swords with her staff, half screaming to death and half sobbing. She was pounding so hard with the only strength she had.

Seymour however, was badly hurt. He was already damaged to 35000 damaged at the beginning and couldn't stand Yuna's pounding and sobbing. Then, his life bar reached 0 and he fell then screaming" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" as he fell down.

Then Yuna opened her eyes and saw that she have defeated Seymour single handedly. She smiled with triumph as she proceed to use pheonix down on her fallen comrade.

" Wow, where did Seymour gayass go?" asked Tidus

" I defeated him" said Yuna triumphantly

" Huh, yeah right. I bet that you bribe him to go away with all our money." said Wakka

" No I really did defeat him" said Yuna

" Kimahri and give Yuna some drugs to refresh her minds" said Kimahri

" F you Kimahri" said Yuna

And so they continued walking for a long time until they reached some scary place with a lot of goos all around it.

" What is this place?" asked Rikku

" This place was once a goo factory place. This factory made goo for children to spill it all over their face when children didn't like them. I use to love doing this when i still had my parents so I could consider this my favorite place." said Lulu

" So what happen to the goo factory?" asked Tidus

" Sin came and destory the factory and made many children very unhappy. That's why I hated Sin all my childhood."

But suddenly, Tidus fell down and collaspe.

He then woke up at a wierd but familiar place. He looked around and say a masked boy.

" I see that you have woken up" said the boy

" Where am I?" asked Tidus

" Silly idiot, you don't even recognize your own room? " asked the boy

Tidus looked around and saw that he was indeed in his own room.

" We've been hiding something for a very long time and didn't want you or anyone else from your time to know about it. You're just a dream" said the boy

" A what?" asked Tidus

" Don't you know what a dream is?" asked the boy

" You mean that everyone here is just a dream. Everyone that was in Zanarkand is just a dream?" asked Tidus

" That's correct. We, the dreamers, the fayths, have been dreaming for a long time. We created you from the real Zanarakand that was a thousand years ago. The Zanarkand that you know is a lot different from the real Zanarkand from one thousand years ago. We have been dreaming for so long. Will you let us stop dreaming? " asked the boy

" F you, no way I'm going to let you stop dreaming. I may be a dream, but that doesn't mean that I don't have human emotion. I feel like a human because I am one. SO don't you just popup to me and say 'oh you're just a dream' you mother fker" said Tidus

" You will pay for this, you will pay" said the fayth

Then Tidus awoke and found all the people crowded around him saying" wake up Tidus wake up."

He woke up and looked at Yuna.

" You were asleep for nearly six hours, it's almost morning. " said Yuna

" F that son of a bitch" said Tidus

Then they walked on and on to Zanarkand


	13. Chapter 13

After a short while of walking, they've reached the cave of Zanarkand where they explored some cloister of boringness. Once they've finished them, they went out when Auron suddenly said, " it's coming."

What was coming, they didn't know until they saw some giant beast with weird tentacle out of it's back.

" WTF, where did that come from?" questioned Tidus.

" It was summoned by lady Yunalesca to test us," answered Auron.

" Well then, ATTTTTTTTTTACCCCCCCCCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!' cried Tidus

" DRUGGSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!" roars Kimahri.

They all got into battle position. The first thing Kimahri did was cast mighty guard on him as well as takes some drugs. Auron drunk a fill of strong ale and attacked with armor break, only to find that it was immune. Rikku tried to steal something, but failed was light beams came out of those tentacles and confused all of the party. Tidus attack Lulu and killed her while Rikku stole the jug of ale from Auron and drank it. Rikku rolled over dead as she got alcohol poisoning.

It was all up to Yuna again. The first thing she did was summon bahamut. "Might faith, come and help me," pleaded Yuna. Bahamut came and yawned a bit before falling asleep. Yuna had no choice but to bribe the thing to go away. Yuna paid 720k gil to it before it was to jump off the cliff. Then she went to her friends and revived them.

When they woke up, they found that all their money was gone." WTF, where did all our money go?" asked Wakka

" I used them to save or life." Answered Yuna proudly.

" You mother fker, just had to bribe it away did you?" asked Wakka

" Hey, at least I saved your life," complained Yuna

" Well next time, go feed yourself to a monster instead of wasting our money. Now come on, we have to get going."

They've walked on for about 10 minute until Rikku paused and said" Yunie, please don't go and throw away your life for this. You're too young to die."

" I must or else we will all die." Answered Yuna

" Well, at least let me give you a hug before you die?" asked Rikku

" Fine," grumbled Yuna

They hugged each other and while they hugged, Tidus noticed a sphere fall out of Yuna pocket.

" Now come on, we have wasted some time already by your stupid lesbian contest," said Auron.

" Kimahri suggest Auron use drugs to put them asleep and rape them." Said Kimahri.

" We'll keep that in mind," answered Wakka.

They've walked on, but Tidus stayed behind. He put Yuna's sphere next to his ear and listen to it.

" My name is Yuna brownhair," it said," I am the daughter of highlord Braska. I was born in Bevelle as a lost orphan girl and stole people's foods and money. Then a Ronso named Kimahri came and took me to Besaid where I was held hostage as a salve girl. I was forced to make candy bars out of dead people stuff and was forced to behave or else I was going to be turned into a candy bar. Wakka blitzball team always looked down on my and only encouraged me to become a prostitute when I grow up to make money for the team. I one day decided to become a summoner. All the people I knew pleaded for me not to become a summoner and instead change into a prostitute for the sake of the family, but I listened to my heart and became a summoner. I enjoyed having a lot of guardians and liked it when we fight. We stood together to fight all other monsters and always beat them. I wish I could just live a normal life like other people."

The sphere video ended with a buzz sound. Tidus ran up to the other people as they walked on to Zanarkand. They've reached a fireplace where they've camped out for the last time. They stood together liked comrades that were marching into war just to meet their doom. Tidus put his hand on Yuna as he climbed on a rock to look out into the sun. " Listen to my story," he said," this may be the last time we hear it."

After they cleaned out the fire, they went to walk on to the gate of Zanarkand. From the look of the Zanarkand, there was hundreds of pyreflies. Those pyreflies were annoying, for they sometime gave out random vision. Now if you were there, you would wish there was no pyreflies, for they sometime obscure your vision. They've walked to a bridged until they saw some vision of Seymour. " No, no mother, I don't want to become a fayth."

" Seymour, I will become a fayth and you will use me to defeat sin. It is the only thing that will let the people accept you." Said his mother

" I don't need them, I need only you mother," cried Seymour.

" No wonder people call you 'mother fker'," mumbled his mother to herself.

" Was that some kind of vision of Seymour?" asked Wakka.

" Yeah, I never knew why he was gay, but now I think I know why," answered Rikku.

They walked onto the cloister of trial.


	14. Chapter 14

The groups were at the cloister of trial( as I said, cloister of boringness) and solving some hard and annoying problem because every time Yuna or Rikku steps on a light, they have to start all over. After six hours of making sure Yuna and Rikku did not step on a light, they finished the cloister.

" I wonder what the aeon might be?" asked Tidus

" THE FINAL AEON !!!" answered Wakka.

" Wow, I definitely want to see the final aeon. This one sound so powerful," said Tidus

" Wow, you still don't get the difference between powerful and weak?"

" Apparently, I always thought that aeons were very powerful because most summoner comes here for power."

" Yeah, but aeons turn to be very weak after the summoner becomes a real summoner."

They went in and then everything turned white. Then the dimension turned purple and then an evil dragon came out.

" Where the f did that thing come from?" asked Tidus

" It came from the whiteness of course," answered Lulu

" THEN ATTACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!" cried Tidus

" DRUGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" roared Kimahri.

Then they all got in to position to fight this creature. Auron took his sword and slashed the creature incredibly strong. Rikku made a hyper mighty G on Tidus, Wakka, and herself. Tidus used slice and dice on the monster. Lulu used flare on this thing. Kimahri smoked some shatter and got all drunk in attacking who is who.

However, the creature used those claw things on them and performed some mine technique that exploded on Lulu and Rikku. The claws performed some things on Auron that made him berserking mad on attack the monster to death, but in the end, Auron got slashed to death. Yuna ran away because if she stayed and fought, she would be instead giving away all the money. The creature then planted some mines on Kimahri and he exploded to death.

" What are we going to do?" asked Tidus.

" We beat him of course," answered Wakka.

" Yeah, but how?"

" Hey, I think you forgot something. We're cheating blitzball players. We will use blitzball power to defeat this ugly sick."

" Right! Let's get attacking."

Then they charged at the creature with full force and yelled" BLITZBALLL POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" It was unbelievably stupid because the moment they stopped yelling, the creature roared and died.

" Wow, was that easy," commented Tidus.

"Yup, blitzball power always beat drug powers," said Wakka.

They used some phoenix down on their party until all was healed.

"Did you guys beat them?" asked Lulu.

"Yup Tidus and I killed them," answered Wakka.

"Kimahri had strange dream after smoking some shatter," said Kimahri.

" Kimahri, when will you ever stop smoking drug?"

" Kimahri need drugs to live or he will die."

" Well then, we shall take away your drugs."

"F you asswhore."

Then Yuna went inside to the chamber, only to find that there was no final Aeon.

"WTF do you mean no final aeon in there?" asked Wakka. They were in the chamber staring at some kind of statue.

"It's just a rock that has a dragon shape on it," answered Yuna.

"Well f what do we do now?" asked Tidus.

"Kimahri suggest we use crack until we forget why we are even here," suggested Kimahri.

"Yeah you do that Kimahri, you're probably on heroin," insulted Wakka.

Then came an old man that said to Yuna," Summoner and guardians, pass through this portal and let the mighty lady Yunalesca grant you the power of the final aeon."

He disappeared in to fire flies afterward.

"Well, I guess we have to ask lady Yunalesca for the power," said Tidus.

"Yeah, but the all aeon is weak so why ask for another weak aeon?" asked Wakka.

"Because we have to defeat sin, that's why."

"Kimahri will stand for Yuna and drugs," said Kimahri.

"I will go forth, because I will fight for Spira even if I am an outcast," said Yuna.

"Then let's go," said Auron.

They passed through the portal and found some kind of weird place. Then a hot woman with a lot of fire flies came walking down the stairs half-naked.

"Greetings, summoner and guardian, I come forth to tell you that you have succeeded," said Yunalesca.

Yuna bowed and said," Great Lady Yunalesca, I ask that you give us the final aeon."

"Give you? You must learn some manners girl. To ask a Lady to give you something are for poor people like you. You must learn some manners. But anyway, to get the final aeon, one of you must sacrifice yourself to become the faith. The sacrificed person will join with the summoner and become the final aeon. The bond between the two however, must be very strong. Like for instance, the bond between mother and child, brothers, best friends, or husband and wife."

Everyone gasped at that point. No one knew that one of them must die to make the final aeon. Now they looked at each other in figuring out which one would go.

"Can we have some time to think about it?" asked Yuna.

Yunalesca nodded and went back to her chamber. Then some weird memory scene came up.

"Man who's going to be the faith?" asked Jetch.

"I vote Jetch," said Past-Auron.

"F you, I vote Auron."

"Well, I vote Jetch to go," said Braska

"F you too, I want to live," said Jetch.

"Jetch, you've been a good friend, but you need to die because you spend all our money on beer and whiskey. You need to die because we had to pay all our money for the shoopuf incident. You need to die because of the chocobo eater eating all the chocobo."

"Fine, I'm not getting any younger anyway, might as well make myself useful."

Then Auron yelled "Whoohooo!" and started dancing like crazy.

Then the scene faded.

"Well, who's going to be the faith?" asked Rikku.

"I vote Yuna," said Wakka.

"No, Yunie is the summoner, she can't be voted."

"Yeah, but we could always vote you instead for being an annoying whore."

"Never mind, I vote Yuna."

"Well, I vote Yuna too for disobeying the rule of being a prostitute," said Lulu.

"Yeah, we all call Yuna," said Tidus.

"I agree, I only liked her boobs and pretty face but not her soul," said Auron.

"Wait, we have to ask Lady Yunalesca if your claim is possible," said Yuna.

"Man. I hate rules," said Wakka.

So they walked in to the chamber to ask if sacrificing Yuna herself is possible. They went inside the door and found some weird space area. Yunalesca appeared herself right at the edge of the land.

"Well, have you chosen the guardian yet?" asked Yunalesca.

"We were wondering if you can sacrifice the summoner by herself," said Lulu.

"You stupid idiots, you can't sacrifice the summoner. She's the one who is summoning the final aeon."

"Well, will sin come back even if I use the final aeon?" asked Yuna.

"NOPE!!! Because sin is an eternal creature. When the final aeon is summoned, sin will capture the final aeon and rip out the soul of shell. Then it will go to the slumber time which to you, the Calm, and sin will take the time to grow in to the shell. I am afraid people were too idiotic to go look for sin and eliminate him for good," said Yunalesca.

"WTF!!!!!" yelled Wakka.

"The teaching said that if we all gave a piece of us away, sin will stop coming back. It's been our hope for all these years. I even gave away my legs to the piranhas just for this," said Lulu.

"Hope is a very comforting word," said Yunalesca.

Then a flashback of Auron and Yunalesca came.

"You sick bastard! You killed Braska for your morning beef and Jetch for your lunch," said Auron.

"They've choose to die, because they had hope," said Yunalesca.

Auron gave out a mighty roar and charged at Yunalesca. Yunalesca raised one hand up to cast a mighty shield and deflected Auron. Auron fell down and fell unconscious. That's when the scene ended.

"Hope is needed in Spira's world. Without hope, people would drown in sorrows and no one would ever be foolish enough to be a summoner," said Yunalesca.

"Well, I'm not going to choose any guardian for the final aeon," said Yuna.

"You must, or else I will have to kill you as well as your entire guardian."

"No, I will stand up and be strong. My father wanted to end this madness, but you turned him into your morning beef and his soul into the summoner for the final aeon. You sick biatch, you are so Fing disgusting. I will find a way for us to defeat sin."

"Poor creature, you are just some annoying thing. Let me be your liberator."

Then Yunalesca transformed into an evil being with some bad hair problem.

"This is it," said Auron," this is the final chapter of our story. Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrows. Now is the time to shape your story to what you want it to be."

"Kimahri stays to fight with Yuna or else Kimahri will betray code of drugs," said Kimahri.

"I'm fighting too," said Rikku.

"I've never thought I would fight Yunalesca with an Al Bhed by my side," said Wakka.

"You can always run," says Lulu.

"Heh, I would never forgive myself. Even in death yeah."

"My thought exactly."

"Yuna lets finished our story together. Then I could do you all I want," said Tidus.

"Right!" exclaimed Yuna.

They've closed in for combat.

The first thing Tidus did was attack Yunalesca with blitz ace. Wakka used a firaga ball to Yunalesca. Rikku tried to mug something, but failed. Auron used tornado ability. Yuna went up to Yunalesca and whack her hard in the face and quickly ran back to avoid harm. Lulu double-casted flare.

Then Yunalesca transformed in to an ugly tentacle being. It first used hell biter on Tidus, Wakka, and Lulu. They were out of battle for quite a while. Auron slashed Yunalesca and did 9999 damage, only to be absorbed to death the technique absorb. Kimahri smoked flower and became strong with killing Yunalesca's entire tentacle. Kimahri got whipped to death later. Rikku mugged Yunalesca one last time, only to find that was being strangled to the death by Yunalesca tentacle. Lulu doubles casted flare one more time to kill Yunalesca form.

Then Yunalesca transformed in to a medusa. The medusa used mega death on Lulu. An ugly witch appeared and pulled out Lulu's heart with one grasp. That left only Yuna to fight (as always). Yuna summoned Bahamut in hope to kill Yunalesca.

"Bahamut, Attack!" yelled Yuna.

Bahamut just jump on to Medusa and killed her with one slam. That made the team wins unconditionally.

"No, I must not die. If I die, no one will be able to defeat sin," said Yunalesca.

"We will find our own way of defeating sin," said Tidus.

"You fool, there is no other way. There is no other way of defeating sin. Even if you do, Yu Yevon the immortal will create sin anew."

"What's Yu Yevon?"

"Your mom okay? I'm sorry Zaon that I have failed you. Now Spira will be ruled by Yu Yevon."

Then Yunalesca faded away in to the fire flies.

"Wonder who Yu Yevon is," asked Tidus.

"Well, let's get out of here," said Auron.

They walked out of the chamber. Then Auron stopped to tell Tidus something.

"Is this about you?" asked Tidus.

"Yes, I will show you why I had to come to you to your Zanarkand," said Auron.

He went to the middle of the circle thing of the room and place his hand down. The scene faded in to a flashback scene.

"Hey Auron, I want you to do me a favor." Said Jetch.

"Out with it," said Auron.

"I want you to look after my son in Zanarkand. He is such a crybaby. He needs someone to look after him."

"But how can I get there?"

"Hey, you said there must be a way to get there so find a way yourself."

"I will then, Jetch,"

"Thanks Auron, you have always been a good pal." The scene ended.

They walked out of there and in to the sunlight of the outside. Tidus saw his father or more specifically, sin. Sin let out a roar. Tidus, in his mind said," father, I killed Yunalesca to find another way to defeat you. We will find another way; just give us some more time."

Sin slowly walked away. Tidus stared back at him as the glorious sunlight shone his face


	15. Chapter 15

After sin disappeared, the ship came out of nowhere. It came and took Tidus and the other people back.

"Well, did you get the final aeon?" asked Cid.

"Nope, we killed Lady Yunalesca," said Tidus.

"WTF!!! You mother Fer, why you do that?"

"Because the final aeon is a false tradition that is being worship like some kind of god."

"My god, how will we beat sin now?"

"That's why we're here," said Auron.

"Man, if I die because of this, I will seriously kill the person who thought of this idea," said Cid.

"Yuna was the one who thought of this," said Wakka.

"I'll kill her too."

"We must think of a way to defeat sin," said Tidus

"Well, go wonder around the ship while some people think," said Wakka.

Tidus wondered around the ship, talking to some anonymous people. He went to the top floor and talked to Yuna that was staring out the window.

"Yuna, what is wrong?" asked Tidus.

"I'm wondering if killing Yunalesca was the right idea," responded Yuna.

"Hey, no one needed a thousand year old whore."

"Yeah, but now I don't know what to do."

"Kimahri suggest Yuna drink beer and smoke cracks until she forgets who she even is," said Kimahri.

"Wait, why don't we go to the old maester and beat the shit out of him until he gives us information of what we want?" suggested Tidus.

"You're a genius Tidus," said Yuna.

They ran downstairs and in to the pilot area to tell everyone the good news. Then Wakka came up and said," I just had a great idea, why don't we sing the hymm of the fayth to calm sin down."

"You sick bastard, that was my idea," whined Rikku.

"Hey, no one likes Al Bheds."

"What did you say you racist son of a bitch!" exclaimed Cid.

"So we will use the hymm of the fayth to distract sin and then attack him?" asked Tidus.

"Yup, and boy will he be dead," said Wakka.

"Great, anyway, I thought of the idea to go to the old man Maester and beat the shit out of him so we can get some useful information."

"Well, we need to fill in some random things in this chapter before that will happen, and that'll probably take up the whole chapter."

"Why bother filling in everything?"

"Because it keeps the reader reading."

They all went on random places around the world. Going to random places wasn't very easy so they decided to go when they were a bit stronger. The group trained a bit before going to these places. The first place they went was Baaj temple. Cid drove his ship to the Baaj area.

"Why are we here?"Asked Wakka.

"It's time to pay someone back for attacking me," said Tidus.

"I see, and is this creature very powerful?" asked Wakka.

"Nope, it's the weakest."

They swam down deep until they found a door. They got near it until an evil monster came out at them.

"BLITZBALL POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled both Tidus and Wakka. Rikku was thinking," WTF are they doing?"

They've closed in for combat.

Rikku first mixed up a hyper might g and used sunburst, almost killing it. Tidus used blitz ace at it while Wakka did 16 hits of 9999 because of the effect of triple 9999. The monster died very quickly.

"No wonder it was the weakest," said Wakka.

They swam down in to the door. They went inside and in to the chamber. The cloister of it was very weird, for it didn't have any puzzles, only some sphere that needed activation. Tidus activated each sphere, unlocking the seal to the chamber of the cloister. They quickly went inside to see what aeon they were finding.

Yuna went near the fayth. Then a hot woman came out and said to them," you seek my power, yet you hate my son. Nevertheless, I can't thank you enough. My son was a sick bastard to be born, half guado, half man, he was an abomination. I wanted to leave him, so I killed myself and gave him my power. Since he tasted power, he began to thirst for more. He was not satisfied with my aeon and wanted to find another source of power. "

Then came out a picture of crying Seymour.

"He went out of this place, looking for woman he could do. In truth, he was looking for sin. The reason he was looking for woman was because he wanted to get sin. If Seymour gets sin, he would do the entire woman in the world. Use my power to defeat sin and my son with it."

Then the hot woman joined with Yuna and Yuna fainted naked. It was a sign that she lost the mind fist fight. They've carried her to the ship and in to a room where no one would go so that put Cid as body guard. They went back there several times before they got anima.

The next place they went to was the cavern of the stolen fayth. The cavern of the stolen fayth was a cavern with a stolen fayth known as Yojimbo.

"This place is a very dangerous place because the fiends are down there that are very ferocious," said Lulu once everyone got inside the cavern.

"Well, this place is filled with fire flies. More so than any fayth area I've seen except Zanarkand,"said Tidus.

"Well, don't get lost here so be careful."

They walked and walked until they reached the end. When they reached the end, they found three glimpse that transported people to different places. Then an un-sent came with a very angry expression on her face.

"Summoner Fooga," said Lulu," You died here because I stole your food and ran away. I'm very sorry for that and I wish I would just stab you in the gut because you were by far the cruelest summoner in the whole wide world."

Yuna then tried to send Fooga away, but Fooga stopped the sending and knock Yuna unconscious.

"So you won't go to the farplane without a fight eh? Then we'll give you a fight."

"THEN ATTTACCKKKKKK!!!!!!" YELLED TIDUS.

"DRUGSSSSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" yelled Kimahri.

"BLITZBALLLL POWERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!" yelled Tidus and Wakka.

Then they closed for combat.

The first thing Fooga did was summon a weird aeon with a dog. The weird aeon came with a hat and when he walked, he sounded like walking on strings.

The first Lulu did was quite retarded actually, for she jacked the sword of the weird aeon and stabbed went to Fooga to stab a point blank. Then Rikku made a hyper mighty g for everyone. Tidus and Wakka were using blitzball to attack the evil aeon. Kimahri used steroid to improve strength and fire breathe the aeon. Then Auron used tornado move to kill the aeon.

They've won the battle and everyone got experience except Yuna because she was unconscious. Then Lulu said to Fooga," Go to hell you ugly suck bitch."

Then Yuna awoke and said," why didn't anyone save anything for me?"

"Because we were having too much fun," said Lulu.

"F you people," cursed Yuna.

They went on the glimpse that led them to the north of the cavern where the stolen fayth lies. Yuna bend down and prayed to the fayth. Then an ethereal figure of a man came out. He told Yuna," I am a mighty aeon. Anima's power is no match against mine. People dare only whisper my name…Yojimbo. What do you seek of me?"

"I seek that I use your power for the good of the world," said Yuna.

"That would be 270000 gil."

"250000."

"267000."

"260000."

"265000."

"Deal."

"Wow, you gave him all our money," said Wakka.

"Hey, we have to get all the aeon, we have no choice," said Yuna.

Yuna paid Yojimbo all their money. Then Yojimbo joined with Yuna for the mind fist fight. Yuna won because she wasn't stripped naked. They touched the glimpse of getting out of the cavern so they got out of there quickly.

Then they went to remium temple to get the three magus sister aeon. When they went inside the temple, they found the woman Belgemine.

"Greeting, summoner and guardians, welcome to my home, remium temple," said Belgemine.

"We come here to get the three magus sisters, not get an invitation so get out of our way," said Yuna.

"Tut, tut, you young people are so rude. Maybe we should chop you up in to pieces and feed them to the piranhas.

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want to see if your aeon has really improved. It's been three weeks since we last fought."

"My aeon power can certainly beat you and your moms."

"I don't have a mom; I'm an orphan. Now choose your aeon that you want to fight."

They got in to the boring and long fight of everything. After they got every aeon defeated, they got out of there and in to the fighter arena. Then they went through the long and boring process of capturing fiends. After they captured the required fiends for some stupid staff they went back to remium temple to get through a special barrier. The barrier was broken after the crown and staff has been used. Then they went inside to pray for the three magus sister aeon. The ethereal people for the fayth came up and said to them," we sisters have short term memory so we are a terrible aeon. We have forgotten who we are or why we even exist. That bitch Yunalesca imprisoned us so we are stuck in this form forever. Please use us and kill us and then send us to heaven so we can rest in peace there."

The three people joined with Yuna and even though it was three on one, Yuna still managed to defeat them in the mind fist fight. They went outside to fight Belgemine one last time with the magus sisters. They defeated them for the last time and then Belgemine said to them," Yuna, I acknowledge your victory and for that, I will give you my temple. Good luck in defeating sin." Then Yuna send Belgemine away for good.

"Good riddance," said Yuna.

They went back on to the ship to go to omega temple.

"Why are we here?" asked Tidus.

"This place is where the traitor Omega was imprisoned," said Auron.

"Oh him. He was a bad man and summoner. Nobody needed him," said Wakka.

"Then why we here?" asked Tidus.

"Because I said so okay you annoying little kid," said Wakka.

They walked through the dark cavern of evil, strong creature lurking in every corner. They had to be careful of what treasure chest they open. Then when they got to the end, they found an evil creature.

"ATTTACKKKKKKK!!!!!" yelled Tidus.

"DRUGSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Kimahri.

"BLITZBALLLLLLL POWER!!!!!" yelled Tidus and Wakka. Then they closed for combat.

Rikku used a fire gem on the evil creature and burned it really bad. Lulu casted Omega on it for it to burn even more. Wakka used that super tornado technique and nearly killed the thing. Tidus used blitz ace on it and it died.

"That was not Omega, just a weapon created out of his hatred," said Auron.

"So the real Omega is still out there?" asked Rikku.

"Correct."

They've walked on through the deathly and annoying walk place, each walk place filled with a deadly creature. I never knew tonberries could be here. Finally when they've reached the end, a similar creature like the one before it came up. As usual, Tidus, Wakka, and Kimahri yelled the same thing over again. Kimahri used lancet to get the real nova attack and used it on Omega to 1 hit KO it.

"The future belongs to the mortal. Leave this place alone," said Auron and they all walked off.

I got a few things to tell you. I am not going to go through everything. Just a few things that I've been through in playing the game like the fayth's sayings. I'm just going to tell you what they said to them.

Valefor: "When I was alive, I was a hooker. Every guy crowded around me and paid me money for sex. Lady Yunalesca didn't like that and for that, imprisoned me in this state forever. I wish we can go to heaven instead of staying here."

Ifrit: "I was once a man of honor. I rode in to battle and used fire as my weapon. I was undefeatable so I was foolish enough to challenge Yunalesca one on one. The outcome of it was that I lost and for that, I am imprisoned in this state forever. Use me, kill me, and send me to the heaven."

Ixion: "They called me the horse man when I was alive. I rode a horse that was as fast as lightning and was extremely powerful, but I rode my horse so fast that I one day crashed in to Yunalesca. She imprisoned me for that and that's why I hate her. Please just use me and kill me, I want to go to heaven.

Shiva: "I am an old widower. I lived in a wood house for as long as I can remember. I drank beer and whiskey every day and got drunk every day. My drunkness led to the hating of Yunalesca because I puked on her. She imprisoned me for that. Use me and kill me and make it fast."

That is every saying. Every one of these pitiful spirits come here and die. That's the reason why Yunalesca should die. Last chapter is next chapter, SEE YA NEXT TIME!!!!


	16. Chapter 16

The final chapter is here, the last chapter for a while. The next story after this is an awesome final fantasy X-2 story that's totally going to revolutionize your thinking about my story writing. Anyway, down to the plot.

They were going back to Bevelle, and then a huge amount of guards surround them.

"Halt traitor, we are going to kill you right here because we feel like it," said one of the guards.

"You mother Fers, I am going to kick all of your asses," said Tidus.

"Wait," cried someone. Then that someone appeared to be a girl. "I've come to help you because I---"

"Don't bother to introduce yourself," said Wakka.

"But I---"

"Just help us."

"Fine, guards, go away for me."

The guards went away to sand paper their throat. Then the person came to them again and said," My name is---"

"Don't bother introducing yourself because if you do, I am going to F you so hard you die," said Wakka. Just let us go through to maester Mika."

"Alright."

They went in to the door and found maester Mika Looking out over the edge.

"What are you doing here; you should be fighting sin with the final aeon," said Mika.

"We came here to tell you that we killed Yunalesca and come here to ask you if there is another way of defeating sin," said Yuna.

"WTF did you guys just do!!!! You came here to tell me that you killed Yunalesca and now you ask me to find a way of defeating sin. You people just broke an a thousand years tradition!!!!" yelled Mika.

"Now what then?"

"Yu Yevon will rule the world and kill everything. I do not want to live and see this world die in terror," said Mika. Then he turned in to fire flies and flew away.

"That no good son of bitch," said Wakka.

"Now what we do?" ask Tidus.

"We go kill sin ourselves," said Lulu.

Then a little ethereal boy came up to them. He told them," I am here to ask you a question."

"Go screw a mom little kid, we got business to attend," said Tidus.

"I am nearly 900 years old and I am out of my boyish state. Now come with me," said the kid.

Yuna and Tidus followed the little kid in to some weird place. Then the little kid said to them," we are going to discuss how to kill sin. You guys said that you could use the hymm of the fayth to defeat sin. I believe that will work, and I will encourage all the other fayth to do their best because they are going to die in this fight with Yu Yevon. Good luck in killing sin." Then he disappeared in to the dimension.

"Well that was some useless information," said Tidus.

"Your voice sounds sad, is there something wrong?" asked Yuna.

"Nope, it's just fine," said Tidus as he walked.

"You are a bad liar you know that," said Yuna.

They went back on to ship to discuss some more plans about sin.

"Remember everyone; sin is an ugly creature that needs to open its mouth to get him. I don' know why, but if you open his mouth, you will land in another dimension populated entirely by weird creature that will eat you," said Cid.

"Well, drive the ship close to the mouth so we will attack to make it open the mouth," said Wakka.

"We will blast the arm off of sins to make sure he dies."

"Best plan I heard," said Rikku.

Then brother cried out,"SYN!"

They all turn around and saw the big fat seal over them. It spit out a big giant ball of energy. It blasts everything in six directions and for a moment, there was nothing. Then came six huge waves of fire that came near the ship and nearly destroyed it because there was fire on the ship and people were screaming in terror. Tidus looked at sin and said," F you father."

They drove the ship near sins arm.

"This is it guys, It's time to kill my dad," said Tidus," but Yuna," he took out a sphere," You don't need this anymore right?"

Yuna looked in to her pocket to check where the hell did that sphere gets in to Tidus hands.

"Right?" as Tidus threw the sphere over the ship.

"You Fhead, I was going to save that for people to see it," said Yuna.

"Yeah well people won't need to you to tell you their history."

Then they crashed near sin. Sins arm had an orb on it.

"ATTTACCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!" yelled Tidus.

"DRUGSSSSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Kimahri.

"BLITZBALLLLLL POWERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" yelled Tidus and Wakka.

Then they closed for combat.

Tidus used blitz ace on it and did a lot of damage on it. Auron used Tornado to kill the arm. Cid drove back the ship and blasted the arm off. They moved in for the next arm. Rikku mixed up a sunburst that burst the evil creature. Wakka used the elemental reel attack to kill the evil arm. Then Cid moved back and blasted the arm off.

"Whoa yeah, we are killing the evil creature," said Cid.

"RI Rg foga," said Brother (It is over)

"What do you mean?" asked Cid.

Cid called out to the crowd saying," come in, the power is out. Time to think of a new plan to defeat sin or else we will lose."

"No, we will charge sin all out from here," said Tidus.

"Yeah, we got blitzball power by our side," said Wakka.

Then they all jumped off the cliff and landed on sin's back. Then they found a weird and disgusting evil creature. As usual, Lulu performed Thundaga fury to kill the evil creature outer layer. Then it transformed in to SOME WEIRD TENTACLE CREATURE THAT IS DISGUSTING. Kimahri used Nova to kill it. Then they went on to the ship one more time to ride near sins mouth. When they got near sins mouth, they went to attack the evil mouth. They must kill the mouth before it uses the over drive. Tidus used blitz ace and killed it. Then a huge flash came up and sucked them all in. They found themselves inside another dimension. It was a weird dark maze that has many broken stuff. Finally they found a ramp, the lead the door.

When they went inside that door, the found a familiar laugh.

"Greeting summoners and guardians, I have come to tell you that I have become one with sin. I will control sin from within and then destroy this world. Thanks to you that you disposed of Yunalesca, there is no other way of defeating sin," said Seymour Gayass.

"Well the one that will defeat you now is us," said Tidus.

Seymour transformed in to some weird human like state with some weird reels. Then it turned in to some weird fire spots.

"ATTTTTACCCCCKKKKK!!!!!" yelled Tidus.

"DRUGSSSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" yelled Kimahri.

"BLITZBALLLLLL POWERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" yelled Tidus and Wakka.

Then they closed for combat.

Rikku mugged Seymour Omnis for a shining gem. Then Lulu used blizzaga fury to damage Seymour greatly. Tidus used Blitz ace to kill Seymour Omnis.

Seymour transformed back into his original state.

"Yuna now," said Wakka.

"Right, "said Yuna.

Yuna came and did some weird dance to send people away.

"Greeting summoners and guardians, I see that you were the one who were to send me. It doesn't matter because even if I die, Spira sorrows will live on," said Seymour Gayass as Yuna send him away.

Then the whole place changed in to some weird city place. They walked through the place, avoiding the many traps that lurk amidst. Then when they got near the end of it, a huge thing came down on them. When they went inside, they had to find ten treasure to get through, when they did; they were all teleported in to another dimension.

They were inside some weird place. Then they saw a man that looked very old and weird.

"You're late Auron," said Jehct.

"I know," responded Auron.

Jehct turned to Tidus and said," hey son, you have grown a lot. You're all bone though; have you've been eating regularly?"

"Yeah," said Tidus," dad, I hate you."

"I know, I know, I know the hardship I put the whole town in and especially you and mom."

He turned to the dark city area."I can barely hear the hymms anymore. It sounds so faint to me. Soon I will become sin completely. I won't be able to control myself; I won't be able to do anything. You must hurry and defeat me or else."

"Then let's make this quick."

"Right."

Jehct created a light sphere in his hand and put it near it chest. Then he fell of the cliff. Tidus tried to reach him, but couldn't because he was too slow.

Then Jehct transformed into an evil aeon that went and attacked them.

They closed for combat.

The battle was incredibly quick because they were so powerful and Jehct was so weak that I don't want to cover the battle part. I just want to tell you what happens next.

They won and found Jehct lying down. Tidus went to carry his father.

"You're going to cry son; you're always going to cry you little cry baby," said Jehct.

"Sniff sniff, I hate you dad," said Tidus.

Then a flying creature came over them.

"Kill that creature and fast. If you don't, all will be lost," said Jehct.

"Then get him, ATTTTACCCCCKKKK!!!!!!!" yelled Tidus.

"DRUGSSSSS POWERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Kimahri.

"BLITZBALLL POWERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!" yelled Tidus and Wakka.

Then they were transported in to another dimension where they had to fight Yu Yevon and kill him.

Yuna summoned all the aeon at the same time and Yu Yevon possessed them all. After they killed all the evil aeon, they attack Yu Yevon the weak. They killed him just as easily as they killed Jehct.

Then Tidus said," after this, I won't see you guys again."

"What are you talking about?" asked Lulu.

Then they were all transported back to the real world. Yuna send Auron away in the process.

"Hurry up and send me, I have lived in this world for too long," said Auron.

"But---"

"Just do it."

Auron walked forward from the crowd. "Sir Auron the great have lived a long time, now it's time for me to go home." Then he disappeared in to fire flies.

Back in reality, Yuna was sending away all the aeon. All the aeon fayth was turning dry and the entire aeon creature was turning in to fire flies, as well as sin. Sin turned in to fire cracker and disappeared afterward. Tidus looked at his armed as it turned ethereal. Yuna noticed Tidus arm as it flashed and shook her head.

"I have to go, I must or else I will turn in to an abomination," said Tidus.

Yuna shook her head.

"Good bye," as Tidus started walking off.

"Wait, we are going to see you again right?" asked Rikku.

Tidus was neared the edge of the ship when Yuna went after him. Yuna almost caught him when she went right through him. Then Tidus gave Yuna an ethereal hug as Yuna said," I love you." Afterward, Tidus walked off.

"Wait, that part is slippery," said Rikku.

"What?" asked Tidus as he was running off the edge. Then he fell down and screamed AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That was the end of him for a long time.

Later, Yuna went back to Luca to proclaim an announcement. It was a cuckoo announcement because there were cuckoo people.

"Everyone has lost hope in the time before. Everyone has lost something. If you did, well that's too bad for you because we were the one that did the killing. I like to announce that the crusaders were a useless bunch of people because they did barely anything. I also liked to say that the good people were only us in the world. I like to thank everyone who was useful for their help to us. Peace reign on us, now we can rest and continue our dream." A fire flies past Yuna as the scene faded.

This is the end of the story. I will be writing the final fantasy X-2 story later, but for now, enjoy peace.


End file.
